Improving social standards to become effective with your job

We are all searching for better ways to do our jobs and become better staffs in our place of work. Even as our jobs contribute to major parts of our stressors, we seek for effecting ways to reduce stress that comes from our job. One way that one can use to achieve all these is by smile.

Yes, I know it sounds simple, but this little action can help you immensely with becoming a better staff and reduce your work stressors. Let us now look at how smiling can help you specifically in your career.

How to improve your career with a smile

Smiling can make you happy (even when you’re not)

Happiness is an insides job. What I mean by this is that what you feel inside can affect how you display joy or sadness. When you are happy, it can be observed from your body language. This is the same with when you are sad.

But making yourself happy does is not dependent only from how you feel inside. Your body language can be used in making yourself happy. With proper use of your external factors like a simple smile, you are able to send a message to your subconscious that all is well and this can make you happy.

Being happy in your job can help you work effectively and be a better staff.

Smiling can make others happy

You can improve interpersonal relationship and customer relationship with a simple smile. A smile promotes warm environment and this outlook can make those that relate with you to be happy and that includes your co-staffs.

Smiling makes you more attractive.

When you smile a lot, you attract people to yourself and this can improve your relationship with people you work with. Having a better relationship with your superiors and coworkers can indeed favor you for promotion and career advancements.

Smiling can help you de-stress.

We talked about how our body language can affect how happy we feel and that includes smiling. When you are happy in your place of work, you don’t feel stressed up easily. Smiling is an effective form of de-stressor and this is important in our everyday involvement with our duties.

Smiling can help you land a job.

If you are in the habit of smiling, you can find it easy to get a new job either for career advancement or when you are not experiencing satisfaction in your current place of work. It is all about practicing how to smile until it becomes part of you. When it does, it becomes easy for you to affect people positively with your smile, enough to land you a better job.

Smiling can lead to laughter.

Smiling is just one stage of making yourself happy, while laughter is an advanced stage of making yourself happy. It becomes easy for you to laugh when you love to smile.

Smiling just feels good.

Smiling makes you feel good about yourself and when you feel good about yourself you can be able to do your job well. It comes easier to stay confident and motivated when you are at peace with yourself and feel good inside.

But when you are sad and stressed up, I don’t think you will be very effective in carrying out your duty and doing your job well.

Well there you have it

It might sound simple but if you want to get satisfaction in your career, there are certain changes you should apply in your life and one of them is learning how to smile.

Let’s hear what you have to say about this.

 

How to live a fulfilled life

We’ve only got one life to live. It can be very painful when you look back in your life and you regret not standing up for anything in life. I am talking about something you are willing to fight for till the end. Something that you can look back at and be proud of yourself, be proud that you tried.

People are dying like this every day and one cause of it all that they were afraid of failing. There are those that started but gave up after few failures.

But to be able to look back at your life and be proud of yourself, there are certain steps you have to follow. Living a fulfilled life has got rules and if you are not able to follow them, then I don’t know how else to advice you.

So go ahead and take a dip.

Give yourself a mission

It all starts with a mission, a mission to succeed, a mission to live the life of your dreams, a mission to be happy and fulfilled. So many people go through life daydreaming about what they want from life but it is not all of them that take actions to make those dreams a reality.

When you get to talk to most of them, you hear different excuses why it is hard or impossible to allocate time to working towards their dreams. Some of them are just scared of the uncertainties that have to do with the path they desire to thread.

If you are confused about a mission to give yourself and you don’t just know how to go about it, the answer is simple, your passion. The best mission you can give yourself is to follow your passion and make something out of it.

When you follow your passion and something you love, you will be willing to do all it takes to achieve it.

Be determined to carry out that mission

When you hear people give one reason or the other why they cannot allocate time to their dreams, know that this person is not determined enough. When you dream of something and desire to achieve something, the question you should ask yourself is, how much you want it.

The burning desire to achieve something will determine how much effort you are willing to put to get it.

Some people have passion, but they don’t just have the audacity to make the changes required to get ahead. When you are determined about something, you will make out time no matter how small to attend to it; that is if you find yourself busy with something else.

Age has nothing to do with this because there are people that changes their lives in their late 60s, build a successful business at 66 and graduated from college at 57. It does not matter how old you are or how difficult it is, what matters is how much you want it.

Be ready to fail till the end

For something that you are really determined to achieve, you should be ready to fail till the end. Why I stated till the end here is to help you condition your mind to stick to the journey no matter how many times you fail.

When you desire something and be determined to fail till the end, what it means is that you are ready to keep trying no matter how many times you fail. With this mindset, you are most likely to succeed in whatever you do.

You rarely see people that are willing to try something all their life fail. This is because as you continue to try and fail, you see yourself learning and improving. These lessons and improvements are sure to help you succeed.

So the secret of not giving up is not giving your mind a timeframe to give up. Tell yourself that you will keep trying until you get what you want.

Get rid of distraction and negativity

And as you continue try and fail, know that people around you will always be there to tell you that you are wasting your time. There will always remind you of how many people that failed trying to do what you are doing.

For every failure, they will laugh and curse you and do everything possible to discourage you. These people do these things not because they are right, some of them are scared of your audacity, others are just jealous because you dared to do something they failed at.

There are those that are filled with negativity, frustration and impossibility. Having people like this around you is the strongest distraction you can ever have in your quest to succeed.

You don’t need people like this around you. You will have to cut them off or at least spend less time with them. It is very difficult to cut people like this off from your life because they are most times your parents, siblings, relatives and best friends. So when you know that you cannot cut them off entirely, reduce the amount of time you spend with them and spend more time with people that are supportive and understand your dreams.

Look at the big picture

As you go on in life, you will always lose steam and feel like giving up. There is also the possibility of you questioning the viability of your ideas and the possibility of your dream coming to reality.

At this time you feel demotivated, what you need are ways to stay motivated. You can do this by looking at the big picture and reminding yourself why you got involved in the first place.

Looking at the big picture will also remind you of the importance of staying in the race till the end.

Your turn

You don’t have to live a life of regret. You can teach yourself to fail by starting with little projects that you are willing to fail at. When you learn to fail and overcome the pain, you can go ahead to bigger project.

The essence of this plan is to teach your subconscious how to accept failure in good faith and see it as part of success. You cannot fail all the time. There are times that you will succeed too after failing a few times. When you achieve these little victories, you will begin to understand the correlation between failing and success.

The whole story is about teaching yourself to try and having the guts to try again and again, accepting your challenges and setbacks in good faith.

Let me hear what you have to say.

Success is a Continuous Process: Never Stop Putting in More Effort

One fact about life is that the moment you stop moving forward, the world will move on and leave you behind. Success is not a race that you run to the finish line and you say that is all there is to it. Success is about running a race, finishing it and starting another one almost immediately.

Even when you have a long term goal, you break it into short term goals so that it becomes easy and attainable for you on the long run. As you take on the short term goals one after the other, you work to complete them and immediately after completing one you move on to the next one. This is how the principles of success and living a successful life work.

What will I do next to progress?

This is the common question you hear successful people ask themselves. This is one major reason why their success can only grow and become larger.

The hunger to do something great is always burning in them. They make plans, take actions and make their desires become a reality. When they have achieved something great, while the applause is still high, they get themselves involved in another great project, almost immediately.

Even if they fail attempting something new, it doesn’t stop them from trying other new things. The funny thing about trying and failing for successful people is that they see it as fun. They see it as lesson to learn. Rather than think about how many times they failed, they think about how many times they learned ways not to do something.

These mistakes act as a building block to their final success and there know that when they are done, starting another new venture is all about trying and failing until you win again.

Development and success

Let us take a look at the tech world. What makes it great and competitive is that these technology companies have the hunger to make greater and more marketable products for the consumers.

They are aware that humans will always want more but this time, better and more entertaining. If these companies don’t provide their teaming loyal customers what they are looking for, they are only going to run out of business in a short time.

The buzz for change and improvement is a fast one and development has great correlation with success. When you don’t develop yourself and add to your showcase of past trophies, is a short while, your past trophies will be seen as old school because people are doing better than that.

Once you achieve success, see it as a past tense because it is a past tense. While in high school, when you celebrate your graduation, you already know that you are done with that stage of life. What you will be thinking of next is either college or ways to improve yourself to become a better person. You will not continue to look at your high school diploma and celebrate

your high graduation for the next one year. If you do that people will think of you as delusional and unbalanced.

Everything in life is work in progress

Everything in life when it comes to success is work in progress and that includes your life even if you are yet to achieve the success you desire. When you try and fail and you try again, know that all these errors are parts of the building blocks that make up your successes that are to come.

Even when you think you’ve arrived, know that you a

re still a job in progress. There are greater things out there that is yet to found and achieved. You can either do it in your life time or someone else will do it in his or her life time.

Start Now

But I want to think that you will want to be the one to achieve greater things in your life that will speak for you for generations to come. It is not impossible when you have the ability to start now.

All it takes to achieve something no matter how great or little is the will to desire it and the audacity to take action. You have to be prepared to face the troubles and negativities that will arise both from you questioning the viability of your ideas and those around you that think you are wasting your time.

Being determined and ready to continue no matter what is the key to achieving greater things.

This is rather an unfortunate question to ask? It can be painful when you hear someone say what was supposed to be a joyful union is now lacking the very essence why two people come together to spend the rest of their lives as one.

Many people go into marriage with the hope that the joy and laughter they seek for can be found in this union. Well you might not be far from the truth if you have this perception but you can be wrong in many ways when you have this perception.

When it comes to getting married, many people get into it because of the wrong reasons. This is why after a while, the marriage begins to suffer. Not because the partners don’t love each other, but the reality that set in has opened up many truths to them.

These truths I am talking about is yet to be seen or noticed by many couples but those that have the opportunity to talk to therapist and counselors, they are able to find solutions to ignite the love they once had for themselves.

That being said, the secret of a long lasting relationship relies a lot on the foundation that was laid by individual parties before getting into the relationship in the first place. And the important parts of these foundations are laid in the heart and minds before the rest is laid in the actions and work done to sustain a healthy relationship.

There are those that get married because their partners are great in bed. There are those that get married because they are in love with their partner and they think that is all they need in marriage. There are those that go into marriage because of the financial prowess of their partner. There are those that feel lonely and need someone to stay with to complete them.

All these reasons and many more are wrong mindset people have about marriage so they sail on with this ship only for it to capsize when hit with the smallest storm.

Now looking at the main topic of this post, we are talking about someone that can seem to find happiness in marriage even after getting into it.

When you look at the topic, you will understand that this person got into marriage for the wrong reason and had wrong perception of what marriage is all about. People like this go into marriage because they assume that they can find happiness in marriage alone.

People like this are of the notion that they need someone in their life to feel complete. They believe that it is only when you find that special someone that you can find happiness. This perception makes them look up to their partner, depending on them for happiness.

When they finally get into the relationship, it is only a matter of time before they realize that the happiness they seek cannot be found in their partner. They then get disappointed and begin to find another means of achieving happiness.

Here is the truth that you have to know if you have this kind of mindset you will never find happiness in anybody if you don’t find it in yourself. No matter how wonderful your partner is, he or she cannot guarantee you eternal happiness.

Happy relationships and happy marriages are characterized by two happy people who came together to make themselves happier. Note the statement “Two Happy People.” What this means is that they had found happiness in themselves even before they came together to be one.

Happiness is an inside job. If you cannot stimulate it in you, I don’t know how you expect someone else to stimulate it in you. If you have this perception, then it means that you can only be clingy and needy in your relationships. This in turn will make you prone to abuse and being taken for granted. When you continue with this mindset, you are only setting yourself up for a life full of frustration and sadness.

I don’t know what more to say to you but if you have more question, hit me up in the comment box and I will respond. When you find out that you can’t find happiness in your relationship, you should talk to a therapist on how you can begin to practice self-love. This is the key to finding happiness in yourself.

When you are able to appreciate and love yourself, who knows, you might have more than enough love to give in your marriages and relationships, and you can also be happy.

 

 

This is for those that are looking for happiness most especially in their relationship and at the peak of them all, marriage.

Before you ask this question then it is a sign that you are searching for happiness and you hope to find it in your marriage and partner.

Well if you are thinking this way then you are in the right place because I am going to give you the answer that is just right for you.

Coming back to your question, can you find happiness in your marriage? The short and answer is yes and no.

There is a yes to the question as well as there is a no.

Just like any other relationship, the joy, love and happiness you derive from it all depends on you. This is the same with marriage.

Before you think and hope to find happiness in your marriage, do you have any happiness in you to give in the relationship? If you don’t then don’t expect to find one in your marriage.

This is because you will always get what you give in life. If you want love, happiness and fulfillment and hope to get it in a relationship, you must be ready to give it too.

When you are not able to give it, I don’t know how your partner can radiate this happiness in your relationship.

What I am trying to say is that you don’t need a relationship or a marriage to be happy. You need to first find love and happiness in yourself before you can get it in your relationships.

This is often the case of people that think that they need a partner to complete them and make them happy – the case of searching for Mr. Right.

There is no Mr. Right anywhere. You have to be right for you before you can be right for someone else. People that are able to find love and happiness in themselves do find themselves in happy relationship. And people that are insecure and suffer from inferiority complex do find themselves in abusive relationship.

Ever wonder why you see someone come out of an abusive relationship only to find themselves in another abusive relationship. It is not that they are destined to be in these relationships, but it is who they are that attracts the kind of partners they get.

When you are insecure and lack self-esteem, you see yourself being clingy in a relationship and this makes you perfect match for abusive partners because you are just what they are looking for.

But if you are a confident person that believes in him or herself, a person that knows that you don’t need someone to feel loved and happy, you can only attract to yourself people that are in love with your personality.

With this joy and love you have to share, you will see yourself being happy in your relationships because you are already happy before you got into it.

So don’t go about deluding yourself that you can only be happy when you get married. You can find happiness in yourself without getting married. When you are able to do this, you now have the choice to get engaged with someone so that you both can share in that happiness. But of course this partner of yours must have found happiness in self too.

So that is my take on this issue. Rather than hope that a marriage or any other relationship will give you happiness, you should work on finding happiness and love in yourself. Only then can you be able to find it in your marriages and relationships.

When children misbehave, the common way for parents to discipline them is by grounding them, deny them access to their phones, computers or games. Many parents feel that when you ground your child, restricting their freedom and not allowing them to get involved in activities they enjoy will make them remorseful.

While this can work to some extent, it is not almost as effective as making your children show restitution for what they’ve done.

What I am trying to say is that grounding might be a form of disciplinary action of parents but it is not the most effective. The essence of disciplining your children is that they learn from their mistakes and don’t repeat again.

But what will be the use of grounding your child and at the end of the day your actions made no impact. As a matter of fact when not done rightly, disciplining your child can bring about rebellion. This is often the case of parents who use grounding as a form of punishment rather than discipline.

To drive the message you are sending to your child home, your children will first have to understand that what they have done is wrong. This way when you discipline them, they take it in good fate, understanding that you mean well for them.

But when you don’t make them understand the situation, they seem to misunderstand your intention for them, thereby making them assume that you hate.

Without wasting much time, allow me let you into secret of how you can discipline your child effectively and still achieve the desired result. The way you can do this is by letting your child make restitution for their behavior.

While there are in the process of making restitution, they will understand that they are in this position because of what they did.

But when you only send them to their room and deny them access to their favorite activities, yes it might hurt them, but with time, they will only learn to see your punishment as doing time.

When your children begin to see grounding as doing time, then you are no longer passing a message to them. They learn nothing from the experience and might repeat similar actions because they believe that all it will cost them is to do time with restricted space and freedom.

Let me give you an example. Assuming you are financially able to give your children allowances, in your quest to teach them responsibility, you assign them chores to do. When one of your children refuses to execute his or her assigned chore, you can use the allowance to your own advantage. Take for a example you will tell that child “for everytime you did not ……….., I will subtract $1, or $2, or $3 from your allowance and give it to your siblings that did it”

This way your child learns that for every wrong action there is always a consequence that comes with it.

You can also use grounding or denying them access to their favorite activities. This time it should not be time-oriented, rather make it task-oriented. They will get back their freedom, game, computers or phones when they complete certain particular tasks that suit their offense.

You are the parent, so you should know the tasks that suit a particular misbehavior. In the process of executing that tasks, they are able to reflect on their misbehavior and know not to repeat it if they don’t want to undergo similar tasks or much harder one.

And because they love their freedom or favorite activities, this can act as a source of motivation to execute their chores quickly if you use it as a form of discipline.

I want to believe this changes your perspective about constructive discipline for your child. The aim of all this is to bring up children that will be responsible for themselves and the society at large; a child that you can be proud of.

 

The effect of stress on you can be so strong that 20 minutes of stress can ruin your whole day and if you are to calm yourself, it might take a few hours if not more.

Before we take a look at how you can handle stress while driving, let us first take a look at the concept behind stress. Stress is always the result of worrying excessively about something or your mind gets locked thinking about something.

Now when you look at how related it is to driving, you see that you can get stressed when you worry about something coupled to the problems that occur while driving. When you are able to discover sources of worry while driving, then you can be able to deal with stress while driving.

Let us now take a look at how you can reduce stress while driving.

5 ways to reduce stress while driving

• 1) When you worry about your fuel tank. I know that this sounds kind of weird but the truth is that your fuel level can really affect your stress level while driving. This is because you will be worried about refueling and have the fear that your engine doesn’t shut down while driving. So when your mind gets stuck to this source of worry, it only means that by the time you are done driving, you will feel stressed. So why not ensure that you tank is fully gauged before you begin a journey so that you don’t get stressed out of worry.
• 2) Don’t drive while you are late: If you are late for an appointment, then you should not drive. This is because the worry of meeting up with the deadline or what is going to be don’t to you if you arrive late might cause you stress while driving. If you lose control of yourself, this stress might cause you to lose control and crash your car. When you are late, being in a hurry and unfortunately you meet a hold up on the way, this might cause you more stress. So if you are worried about meeting up with a timeline, I suggest that you stay away from the steering.
• 3) Don’t drive your car if it needs service: When you are aware that your car needs servicing and yet you go ahead to get it on the road, you are only creating a source of worry for yourself because you will be scared that it doesn’t break down on the way. The worry you feel does not necessarily cause you stress, it is the combination of events that takes place on your way like the car really breaking down that causes you the stress. So you will want to save yourself this source of worry by getting your car in order before you hit the road.
• 4) You shouldn’t drive when you have something important to do. If you have something of great importance to do, unless you know that you are driving to that location to execute that thing, then you shouldn’t be behind the steering. This is because the thought of something important that you have to do will cause you worry. When you are driving and busy thinking about something important that you have to do, your car breaking down or traffic jam can cause you to feel stressed.
• 5) You shouldn’t drive when you are already feeling stressed: When you are already feeling stressed, you will not be doing yourself any favor by getting involved in another stressful activity. When you do this, you are subjecting your day to being a nightmare. So what I am trying to say is avoid the steering wheels entirely when you are stressed.

Other Suggestions About Stress While Driving

We will not stick to traffic jam alone as a cause of stress, how about someone bashing your car, the horns, noise, the cops pulling over thereby delaying you, and other road problems.

You most likely will not feel stressed worrying about something that is important to you, but the combination of other stressful activities might cause you to view your day as a nightmare.

But when your mind is not already locked onto something, the regular problems of the road might not necessarily cause you stress. It is all about the combination of factors and ingredients that brings about stress.

Other Tips That Will Help Your Reduce Stress While Driving

Leave Home on Time

This is an idea that will help you prevent stress that might arise due to lateness. At least you are able to prevent troubles that might arise due to the anxiety that might arise from lateness.

Plan Your Route Beforehand

You can be able to save yourself lots of trouble by planning your journey before hand. You don’t get stressed on the way because you got lost or don’t know which direction to take. Even with your in-dash navigation devices or gps enabled Smartphone, you might not be able to ascertain major construction or traffic delays. This is why you check your route beforehand.

Keep Snacks Nearby

When you are driving and feeling hungry, it becomes easy for you to feel irritated by simple things thereby causing yourself stress. It is okay to keep snacks nearby so that you can be able to prevent this from happening.

Recognize That You are Stressed

It is easier for you to deal with stress when you recognize that you are stressed. Being aware of this fact can save you lots of trouble and increasing your stress further. You have to know that when you don’t bring yourself under control, your life and those with you in the car are at risk. So you should prevent thing becoming aware of possible causes of stress so they don’t arise in the first place.

 

How can we avoid negative people? There are people that are always faced with the desire to get rid of negative people in their lives. It is important that you learn to get rid of people like this in your life or you will gradually see yourself transforming into a pessimistic negative thinker.

You were not just born with your beliefs and views; you developed them as a result of the people you spend the most time with. It does not matter how many positive lessons you learn in your life, the power of negativity is so strong that it can overwrite all the positive sides of your life and the positive lessons you’ve learned in the past.

If you want to have an idea of the effect of negative people in your life, take for example a situation where you had a brilliant business idea but lost faith in it because your friends told you it was a bad idea. Then one day you saw a colleague of yours float that same business idea and only succeed in it.

You see now that their negative vibe wiped out your positive idea and the zeal to carry on with it. With this example, I know you now see reason to get rid of people like this in your life.

But that being said, there is this problem of avoiding negative people which makes it difficult. Here are some of them:

Why you can’t avoid negative people

You might want to avoid negative people, but here are some obstacles to this desire:

• 1) Negative people are usually very close to you: This is why it is very difficult to get rid of negative people in your life. They are usually your best friends, parents and relatives. If these negative people are those you see once in a while, then it might be easy for you to avoid them. But this people are those that are very close to you so avoiding them is almost impossible.
• 2) Every person thinks negatively sometimes: Thinking negatively is something that happens naturally in us sometimes. Even the positive people do have their negative moments. This is often the case when you had a bad day, lost your job or facing a bad event. This is why you cannot guarantee that someone will always stay positive because this emotion is mostly determined by someone’s mood.
• 3) Negativity is everywhere: Negativity is everywhere. You can find it even in the streets, TV programs, News, in your favorite movie and everyday relation with people around you. The world we live in has so much negativity in it that positivity.

So the question now is, “How can you stop negative people from affecting you?”

This is how to deal with negative people

Getting exposed to negativity is something that is almost unavoidable. What this means is that you will definitely come in contact with negative messages everyday. What you can do to prevent their effect on you is to get exposed to as much positive messages a day that equals the negative ones.

When you get 10 negative messages from people today, you can counter them by getting 10 or more positive messages from other positive people today.

Now there is this problem of how to get positive people because they seem to be scarce.

If you look really hard, supportive and positive people are not too hard to find. There are social networks online that you can join and meet people of like minds.

You need as much positive messages as you can find or you will see yourself being weakened by the negative messages you get.

1)Don’t argue with them

Negative people are already having their minds twisted with their beliefs, so arguing with them will be a complete waste of time. Rather than win a negative person over, they are most likely to win you over to their side and make you believe what they believe. This is very possible because negativity is very much rampant than positivity. So you might tend to believe their negative perception because it is the popular view. When the person you talking to refuse to change their belief and view, it is better for you to back down and go your way.

2) Empathize with them

Sometimes, the negative view of people can be very annoying. Rather than feel anger towards their view, it is better that you empathize with them because their very might have been caused by their personal experience or being ignorant of what you know now.

It is much more effective to give an empathic ear than to suggest and give advice on what to do. But by helping them address their emotions, they are most likely to come up with a solution to their problem. The truth about solution is that it has always been there inside of us.

3) Lend a helping hand

There are those that do not know how to cry for help and their way of going about it is by complaining. They might not be aware of this but their common way of requesting is by complaining. When you observe this trend in someone you know, all you can do is lend a helping hand where you can. Simply showing that you care can go a long way to work magic in their lives.

4) Stick to light topics

When you talk with negative people, try to stick to light moods by bringing in new topics to enlighten the mood. There are those that get ecstatic whenever you raise a major issue in their life that gets them out of control. The reason behind their negativity to this topic might be rooted deeply in them that there is nothing you can do to change their views and perception. You can do things differently by distracting the topic of discussion with newer ones.

5) Ignore the negative comments

You will always be faced with negative comments no matter what you do and one effective way of dealing with negative words is by ignoring them. Your discussion with people will always be mixed with positive and negative comments, when the person is becoming positive, you can reply in affirmation and enthusiasm but when he/she goes into a negative swirl, ignore or give a simple “I see” or “Ok” reply. You can help this person take a positive stand of things with time when you apply this technique.

6) Praise the person for the positive things

People that are negative are not just affecting people with their negativity, they are affecting themselves too. If you can get an idea of what it is like to feel negative around them, how do you think they would feel with themselves all the time? You can help people like this by taking note of the positive sides of them and praise them for it. These positive sides can be what you like about this person or what this person is really good at. This way you will be promoting positivity in this person. It is a long shot but you can plan the seed of positivity in this person and let it bloom over time.

7) Hang out in 3′s or more people

It is safer to hanger around negative people when you are in your 3’s or more. This way you will not be the only person absorbing or countering their negativity.

8) Be responsible for your reaction

How you view this person in terms of being negative depends on you. You have to learn to take responsibility for your perception. For every negative trait you observe in a person, you have to train your views to see more of the positive sides of people than the negative. What we are saying is learn to see the good in people and not always the negative. It might not be easy initially but with time, you will see yourself cultivating this skill.

9) Reduce contact with them / Avoid them

If you have given it your best shot and find that you fail all the time, then you have no other option than to reduce contact with this person. Their perception might run deep in them that there is nothing you can do about it. This negativity might be so strong on them that they find it easy to affect people around them with negativity. This is often the case with people that are close to you like family members, relatives and friends. Spend less time with them and more with positive and supportive people that affects you positively.

Living a life that is not your true self is one of the worst ways to live. It is like having a lost soul. It is like rejecting yourself because you are proud of yourself. When you do this then you don’t deserve yourself either.

In you lies a unique person like no other in this world. In your lies a special person the world can learn to love. In your lies strengths that people envy and which to have. And yet someone will look at his personality, reject it and wish he or she was someone else.

The funny thing about people like this is that they spend most part of their lives admiring someone they wish they were like. But the truth they don’t tell themselves is that this person they admire is true to him or herself. That is, you dumped your originality and decided to admire someone else’s originality.

Can you move out of your own home, sleep on the streets and wish you lived in another person’s home? This is what you do when you abandon that personality that God has given you to admire and try to force yourself to be like another person.

Here is another secret that you might not know of. This person you admire might desire something you have and yet hate. What I am trying to say is that your strengths are someone’s weaknesses. If only you can be yourself, they are people that will surely wish they had what you have.

Trying to live a fake life on the other hand can be so stressful. It takes a lot of emotional energy and can be really stressful. You might do this for decades only to discover that it had all been a waste of time.

Sometimes I don’t want to blame people that try to live a fake life – it is a sign that they lack confidence in themselves or will I say low self-esteem. Some of them do this because they are trying to fit in.

Because you want to make friends you decided to ditch that person that you are. It is like denying your eligibility as a citizen of your country because you want to remain an asylum in another country. Even in a case where your country is not at war or your country might even be better off than the country you are seeking asylum in.

The truth about not being yourself is that people will surely find out that you are fake and they will not take you serious. They will ride you and will not take your words seriously. They will insult you because they know that you can’t leave and you are trying to fit in, which in most cases, you still cannot fit in because it is not who you are.

This is exactly what you get when you are an asylum in another country. You don’t fit in because you are not a citizen and don’t expect to get same right and respect as rightful citizens get. You will be treated like shit and you can’t complain and even if you do, no one will listen, why, because you don’t belong here.

They know that you are not proud of who you are and where you come from. There is only one solution to all this bullshit, go back home. There is no place like your home. A place that you can kick someone’s a*ss if they disrespect you. Yeah, this is your home and this is your right and you will command the respect you deserve and any one that doesn’t give it to you will pay the price.

I am not talking politics here but in this context, coming back home is deciding to be yourself and give up that life of trying to be someone else. This is not you and until you assume your true nature, you might never find the happiness you seek.

Trust me on this; whenever you decide to take charge of your life and be your true self, you will begin to see how much you’ve lost all those years that you spent not being yourself.

This discovery should not make you regret, rather be glad that you are home and you can now begin to live the life that you deserve.

You don’t have to give up who you are to be able to make friends. When you are yourself, your true friends will come by. People that will trust, support and love you for who you are and nothing else. Trust me on this.

Even when someone doesn’t want to be your friend because they don’t like who you are, at least they will respect you for who you are and know that you are for real. This is much better than hanging out with bunch of loser that you want as friends and yet they put you down because they know that you are not for real.

I think I will stop here for now. A word is enough for the wise. Be yourself and be happy.

Peace y’all.

What you should understand is that once you become a success, prepare to have enemies – both from people you know and people you don’t know. This is a fact and it is common.

Another truth is that you don’t have to be successful alone to get enemies for yourself, just because you’ve decided to make minor changes in your life and do new things, you most likely to have at least one person that will hate since then.

Achieving a feat or doing something good for yourself is enough to get some people to be jealous of you and your achievements.

Some jealous ones will come and congratulate you both as friends and hypocritically, while there are those that are so buried in their hate and jealousy that they will find it hard to compliment or congratulate you on your achievement.

What you would understand about hate is that is encoded in our subconscious to help keep us away from certain people. Let’s take for an instance someone that bullies you on regular basis, your subconscious will make you hate this person so as to keep you safe.

But this does not fully explain why some people can control their hate for successful friends. People like this do not care if they benefit sticking around their successful friends. And they can’t understand why their minds work on keeping them away from their successful friends.

Let us take a deeper look into why success will make you enemies

Jealousy is naturally part of our subconscious as humans. There are those that have the ability to control this very strong emotion and those that allow themselves to fall prey to this emotion and allow it control them.

Allowing jealousy to control you especially when someone you know succeeds means that you are suffering from low self-esteem. This is because, people with a good level of self-esteem know how to use jealousy to their own advantage to improve themselves – it does not make them hate someone for being successful.

But when you believe that you are not able to achieve something this good in life, then you will have no other option but to hate successful people around you.

What this means is that once you believe in yourself and your ability to succeed, then a person’s success and the jealousy you feel will propel you to work harder so as to achieve similar success. When you are not able to do this, then you have no other option but to hate those that are successful.

So when people hate you because you are a success, here are some reasons behind it:

• Your success reminds them of their failures. Since there are always reminded of their inability to achieve what you achieved, they prefer to stay away from you so that you don’t continue to remind them of what they are not able to do.
• Jealousy makes some people feel worthless. This is the case of people with low self-esteem. When they see someone succeeding, they feel worthless and decide to stay away from this person so that they don’t continue to feel bad.
• Jealousy makes them feel helpless. When people like this see you succeed, they feel helpless because they don’t see themselves becoming as successful as you are. Again we are looking at people who lack faith in themselves and in their abilities.

People that hate you when you succeed are cowards

When jealous people see your success, it only reminds them of their unfulfilled dreams, so they hate you for it. The fact that they are trying hard to forget about their failures is a sign that they are afraid to start again or pursue that dream.

Jealousy is part of us and it is natural to experience it. But this does not mean that you should allow it control you because it will mean that you are suffering from low self-esteem and lack faith in yourself and ability to succeed.

So when you meet someone that is successful, you don’t need to feel bad – rather you should use that feeling you have to propel yourself to success. Believe in yourself that you can make it and you will.

 

First of all I want to believe that it is the failure at the beginning that made the stories inspiring in the first place. When you tell your life’s story and there was no struggle in it, the story will become as boring as every other boring story people hear every day.

The failures people experience on their path to success is what makes them appreciate their success. Failure is a means of teaching us to make changes in our strategies and try again. The funny thing about failure is that it is not every one that sees it as a lesson to learn.

People can’t still understand why failures make up parts if not most of every success stories. There is this saying that “joy won’t feel so good if it wasn’t for pain.” That same way, success won’t feel so good if not for trials and failure and your experiences won’t feel so inspiring for people that hear them if your journey was an easy ride.

The building block of every success story is failure. Without failure there will be no success. It is failure that makes up success. That is to say that they are two sides of a coin – one is not valid without the other. The only fact remains that people are mostly faced with the failing part at the beginning of their journey to success before they finally taste victory.

I want to believe that this is how the system of the world has been from time immemorial. I don’t think that there have been any success stories without the main actor being involved with trials and oppositions. It is failures that make a movie interesting. It brings the characters alive and makes the movie worth its cost. Nobody will want to buy a movie that does not thrill him or her. What is important is that the protagonist finds victory at the end of the drama thereby satisfying the hopeful watchers.

 

That being said, they are those that are opportune to taste victory in life without experiencing much resistance. If failure was not part of their inspiring stories to success, then it will be attributed to how lucky or prepared they were before embarking on the journey.

When you want to begin something new in life, especially bringing up an idea that is strange to those around you, the first of many resistances you will get are from those around you – questioning the viability of your ideas. It takes a lot of effort to get potential sponsors and donors to believe in your idea, this is especially when it is a strange one to them.

I recently came online one morning to discover a trending news about a young woman from Canada that broke all odds to become a run-way model even when she had a skin disorder. I am not medically trained to know the name for this condition but I could see white patched on her brown skin. It was visible as she walked by but her boldness was very inspiring. The medically inclined visitors should be able to know the disorder I am referring to.

Now let us take a moment to imagine what that young and determined woman had to go through to finally get someone to believe in her that she could be a model even with her skin disorder. I want to believe that she tried hundreds if not thousands of times to get modeling agencies to believe in her and now she has succeeded.

With this success, her story is an inspiring one for those with similar condition that never believed in themselves and lacked the confidence to show themselves. Her story was very inspiring to me and I want to believe that it so touching that it had the power for top news sites like yahoo and AP to write about her.

It also took a dynamic person to believe that she would be a success and this was brought to reality. She indeed made me want to buy that dress she was putting on if my girlfriend would desire it. It does not necessarily mean that the dress is the most beautiful of all but her personality made me admire everything about her.

So that is the case with every inspiring success story. So if you want to tell an inspiring story in the future, be prepared to go through some good number of failures. People will reject your idea, turn you down, laugh at you and remind you how many people that have failed trying to do what you are attempting to do. Some people will come out openly to tell you that you are wasting your time, why not find something reasonable to do with your time. “Get a job” is the most popular of them all.

 

The most painful aspect that you should expect is that these people might be those closest to you, your siblings, parents, best friends and peers. At least they might be the ones to talk you down first before you start getting thrown out of office buildings by strangers who do not believe in your ideas either.

But does this mean that you should give up? Definitely not. A person rejecting you means that this person is not the particular person to work with you. Forget them in a hurry and move on with your future because there is a good reason they did not make it to your future.

What you should rather do with every rejection is find ways to improve yourself and your ideas and keep searching for someone that will believe in your ideas and work with you. Be rest assured that there are more than a hundred people out there who needs your ideas to invest in – all you have to do is find them. Keep searching and you will definitely find them.

And before I forget, never forget to surround yourself with people and believe in you and are supportive. Unsupportive people and those that talk down on you are like poison and will only work hard to kill your dreams. So spend less time with them for your own good and for your success.

When you feel sad for a couple of days without having any reason, then you might have to go and see your doctor to get proper medical checkup. This should be after you’ve done some soul searching to know that nothing caused it.

Hormonal imbalance can cause you to feel sadness and this can be detected by blood tests. You can also see your therapist for a session. Maybe they will help you do the soul searching properly.

With regards to the hormonal imbalance, do you know that low thyroid function can bring about depression like symptoms? When you’ve undergone the proper medical checkup and there was nothing found, then you can see a mental health professional.

Things in your life both past and present can cause you to feel sadness and you might not know the reason but your subconscious might make you feel depressed until you attend to those issues.

You are also to consider for how long you’ve been having this feeling of sadness. If it has been consistent, for more than two weeks, it is recommended that you see your doctor.

Depression can also cause you sadness and if this is the case, you might want to seek for anti-depression solutions. You might also want to check on your sleep because lack of rest can cause you depression. Getting involved in physical activities and going out to relate with your friends can also help you deal with depression.

De-stress yourself and avoid anything that might cause you to stress. You should also check if you have accumulated lots of small tasks and chores and they have build up to the extent of causing you worry without you have an idea why.

The only way you can find out if this is the cause is by identifying those chores that you have been putting off. Attend to them one after the other. If they are the cause, you will notice your happiness coming back slowly with every one you’ve completed.

When you are troubled about something, then you need to attend to that thing to get your peace of mind. You also have to check if what is causing you worry is something you have no control over. If this is the case, you have to change your mentality about that thing and realize that no amount of worry can affect the outcome.

This is the case of those that are afraid of the future and what is to come. What is to come is in the future and there is nothing you can do about it. Face reality and accept the fact that the worst case scenario might come into effect.

When you come to terms with this, you can then make plans of what to do should your fears come to pass. This will alleviate your fears and give you peace knowing that you there are other options should your fear come to pass.

For those things you have control over and can solve, don’t be afraid to ask for help in dealing with them. Taking actions might be frightening but your health is more important. So save yourself from stroke and attend to issues that might bring you health problems.

You should also check if you have been living your life for people and not yourself. When you live a fake life, you might wake up one morning to discover that it has all been a waste of time and this will cause you sadness.

The only way you can find happiness is by living your life the way you deem best. Do things that make you happy and be yourself. You can only find happiness this way than trying to change yourself to please another person or people.

Ask yourself what it wants and if you can be able to get an answer, give yourself what it desires. Not answering the calls of your subconscious can only bring you pain and sadness.

People that suffer from a form of (mild) bipolar disorder do experience sudden sadness without knowing why. You can help yourself with the use of meditation, and self-awareness training.

You should also not over-rationalize your sadness because this feeling is part of life itself, that is to say it is a natural reaction to unpleasant events in our lives. Don’t always see it that you have a problem. But if you really think something is wrong, you can visit a specialist to help you find out why.

Some people use prescription drugs to deal with their anger, sadness and depression, but it is not always advisable and should only be used in critical and severe cases. Try to seek for other options in dealing with this emotion.

You should also learn to have a journal. This will help you trace back your emotions and experiences in the past should you experience similar feeling of sadness in the future. You have to keep tab with your emotions so that you can be able to know when there are changes and how you can go about it.

Having a greater level of awareness in your life is something that helps when it matters most. You should be able to detect a pattern or sudden change with this awareness. You can take this awareness to a greater level with the use of curiosity in getting to know yourself better.

When you are sad, do not do things that will only encourage this emotion to eat you up like playing sad and emotional songs.

Remember not to overlook anything you put off for later no matter how tiny or little it might seem. Our subconscious has its own little way of reminding us about things we have not done.

The emotions we feel are very dependent on the status of our subconscious. So if we owe it any form of dept or not doing what it is asking of us, it has the power to take away your joy and peace of mind.

So in conclusion, check if there is anything thing you are putting off that might cause you sadness. If there is none, you should seek for medical help from doctors and therapists for proper diagnosis.

Let us first understand why people will always hate. For as long as you have anything useful to do in this world, people will always hate. Among these haters, there are those that will have only the desire to hurt you or do something harmful to you. These ones have some level of self control over how they feel about you.

There is also another class of haters – these ones are the ones that have no control of how they feel about you. All there ever want to do is seek for opportunity to do something that will make you feel bad. Their action might not be that big because haters can only do what they are capable of.

When someone is a hater, they will badmouth you, say demotivating and negative statements about you, all with the aim of hurting your feelings. The emotion haters have for you can be so strong on them that once they see you doing well, they make every effort within their power to try to slow you down.

Why haters hate

The emotions haters have is born out of the perception that they can’t do what you are doing or attempting to do. This emotion is what drives them to do everything possible to stop you from doing something.

That is to say that it is the worthless feelings haters have about themselves that make them hate. They might try to sound as honest as they can but when you look at the reason behind their badmouthing, you will see that it is because they know they can’t do what you do and they are jealous of your success.

What the hater should have done is, rather than hate, they can use your success to motivate themselves to succeed. All they have to do is believe in themselves and they will feel motivated to be like you.

How to deal with haters?

You just have to ignore them and continue to shine. Let them burn in their hatred and jealousy. Since they prefer to hate than motivate themselves to become like you, they is nothing more that you can do for them.

What will surely piss them off is if they continue to hate and see that you are still progressing this will surely to piss them off.

For you, rather than feel bad that someone hates you, see their hatred as a form of motivation to continue to progress. Their hatred is a sign that you are doing well.

Doing this, you not only be improving in what you do, but you will be sending a clear message to your haters that the only way to achieve similar success it by believing in themselves and working hard.

The love people have for you should only make you strong but the hate people have for you should motivate you to do more.

This is how you should handle haters.

Happiness is the emotion we feel when we achieve something that matters a lot to us. Let take for example getting a job that makes you the highest earner amongst your friends. You will be happy with your job knowing that you are a source of inspiration to your friends.

But how then will you feel two years later when one of your friends get promoted with a higher pay and you are still earning the same salary as of two years ago? I want to believe this information will affect your level of happiness.

The salary you are earning now is the same to the one you earned two years ago, why then are you feeling bad about it when it was considered a good pay in the past, but now it is seen as low.

This is where your perception comes into play. Your perception of your pay is now affecting how happy you are with your job and your pay.

The way you see things and view life in general can affect how happy you are feeling at any point in time. It does not necessarily mean that something has to happen for you to feel bad, when you change how you perceive something, your appreciation for that thing might depreciate.

When you care about something, your perception of how close or far you are from what you seem as important will definitely affect how that thing makes you happy.

That is to say, when you feel a bit distant from what you desire, you will definitely not feel happy until you get that desire of yours.

This is why the amount of money you have does not guarantee your happiness. Someone that earns much less than you do can be happier if he or she feels that contented with what they have. There are billionaires and millionaires that are still not happy. Why do you think this is so? It is because of their perception.

Someone might be very rich but the money might not be a source of happiness for this person if he desires something more. It could be love, a friend, or someone he can trust. But until he gets that which he seeks for, his chances of being happy are slim.

If you feel that money will make you happy, your perception of what is enough monetarily will definitely affect your happiness levels. Until you attain that level of financial stability, you might not feel comfortable and happy.

So how can one be happy in life?

Having a better understanding of yourself and what you desire most is the first step to becoming happy. The problem many people have in their life is that they don’t know what they really want in life. This is why they take different classes in about happiness and still don’t find the happiness they seek for.

Finding out what you truly want from life is what you really need to find happiness. And if you’re able to identify this desire, most times hidden in our subconscious, you can be able to know what path to take in achieving happiness.

Let’s take for example that you value your time and freedom and you went ahead to get a 9-5 job, how then do you think you will be happy in life. Or your subconscious desires money for you to be happy, and you are taking classes that teach you that money can’t buy happiness, you are only denying your secret desire and this will make you unhappy.

So you see how your perception of what you hold dear affect your happiness levels. So what you have does not guarantee happiness, but your view and perception of its importance is what states how happy you will be.