You Are Stronger Than You Think And Know

mentally strong people

You are stronger than you think and know

Many people underestimate themselves and their ability to achieve something great in life. But what you should understand is that you are stronger than you think you are and indeed strong enough to handle the challenges and stresses that come to you in life.

You might not know your ability until they come. When you are faced with these challenges, you see yourself doing thing you never thought possible – things you could swear you were incapable of.

But because you think you are incapable of something that is why you never believe in yourself or think that you can do it.

It is this mentality that makes people hold themselves in a fixed position and refuse to try or attempt to do great things.

You can never know you ability until you try. Approaching it with a mindset that you want to win the first time will always set you up for disappointment.

This does not mean that you cannot win on first trials, but don’t always approach things in life with this perception. What you should do is be prepared to fail. Tell yourself that it is in these failures that you learn and grow and become a better person at what you intended to achieve.

Allowing yourself to fail means that you are willing to grow and giving yourself the opportunity to learn and grow.

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.”
― Nelson Mandela

There is so much possibility with human capacity if only we dare to try. There is no measurement to what you are capable of so when you think that you cannot achieve something or do something, then you are the one holding yourself back and no one is to be blamed.

The struggles of life will always be there to teach us. All you have to do is accept them as they come and use the lessons they teach you to improve yourself and become a better you.

How your troubles are improving you and making you a better person

What does it take to succeed in life?

How your troubles are improving you and making you a better person

In life we all complain when faced with the troubles of life. While life itself can never be without giving us challenges, we must learn to come to terms with this and see the bright side of this natural phenomenon to make the most out of it.

There is never a time you come out successful without going through turbulent times. Do you notice that there is this joy in you after you’ve succeeded in getting what you want? Have you ever stopped for once to really ask yourself why you feel the way you do when you win in the end?

Some people will always think that it is the victory that makes them happy – but the truth is that it is your subconscious means of expressing gratitude that your troubles and challenges are over. For that particular situation, you have pushed yourself through all the trials and troubles. So you are now happy that nothing bothers your subconscious again because whether you know this or not, your subconscious determines how happy or sad you are at any given moment.

Someone said, “Joy won’t feel so good if it wasn’t for pain.” Do you think it is true? I think it is because I don’t see any other reason why we will be so happy at the end of every race. Why do you think people don’t appreciate things gotten on a platter of gold? There did not pass through any pain or challenge to get them so they don’t see the need to rejoice for getting it.

Your problems and troubles in life are there to inspire you and encourage you to continue towards success. They are not there to make you give up. Remember that the harder your challenge is, the higher the worth of what you are going for.

Nothing good comes easy and nothing is free even in Freetown. You have to learn to take advantages of the lessons your troubles and challenges give you to inspire yourself to greatness.

And because you are ready to face them, you become stronger and more resilient. Another advantage of your problems is that for every problem you succeed in overcoming, you become wiser and a better person. These troubles are here to teach you and facing them is like going to your regular class in life to learn.

Trying to avoid or escape from them means that you will never learn and not learning means you will never grow in life.

So learn to use your problems and troubles to inspire yourself and become a better you in life.


Strong Reasons Why Your Positive Affirmations Won’t Work

Strong Reasons Why Your Positive Affirmations Won’t Work

positive affirmations

By the time you become aware of the power of positive affirmation, you would have realized that a positive mindset is what bring about positive results. Because of this, people search for different positive affirmations to help them change their perception, mentality and mood when they are feeling negative.

But when you interview people on the issue of positive affirmation, you hear some saying that it works, while they are those that don’t believe it works.

Have you ever witnessed a situation whereby you wanted something so bad, it could be a dream job, a relationship with someone you have a crush on or a much needed desire?

You remember applying every rule that has to do with positive affirmation, even wrote out your expectation and placed it where you would see it every day. You also repeated those words times without number only for all your efforts to be in vain as the result did not meet up your expectations.

When situations like this occur, you see yourself thinking that maybe you did not do the affirmations correctly or maybe you don’t deserve that which you desire.

One of the main reasons why positive affirmations does not work for some people is that it is consciously targeted and not unconsciously. While trying to target this level of mind, you will be creating a war between your intended belief and what your subconscious truly believe.

I want you to understand that everything your subconscious believes might not be true but because it has been registered, it tends not to believe your positive affirmations.

Let us take for an example, people that think they are fat and ugly; when you look at the mirror, you try to tell yourself that you are beautiful but you also hear your subconscious screaming “it’s not true, it’s not true.

There is this struggle between what you want to believe and your deeply held negative beliefs. These two incongruent beliefs tend to counter whatever belief you intend to build in yourself.

This type of war can cause you to lose lots of energy because it can be really stressful to the heart, mind and body. The resultant effect of this war is that you end up strengthening your negative beliefs and their hold on you.

But do not be discouraged because they are effective ways and methods that you can apply for you to have instant and excellent results.

You know that positive affirmation is all about telling your subconscious what to do – trying to set your mind against the negative beliefs your subconscious already hold.

Even as this might not always be effective, what tends to bring excellent results is when you question your negative beliefs and subconscious.

It has been discovered that asking ourselves questions helps us to create something more powerful that when we tell ourselves what to do. The end result of these questions brings about successes that are most times more than what we want or anticipated for.

With question you are able to admit your downsides and probe your mind for answers. It is this probing that prompts us to take action and do something about our situations.

With questions you ask yourself, you will be reminding yourself of the resources you have at hand and also activating your curiosity. All these are possible with a little tweak in approach towards solving your problems.

In the area of positive affirmation, rather than tell yourself “I will”, why not ask yourself “Will I?”

This common question helps you access your strengths and weakness and springs up the curiosity in you on how to strengthen your weaknesses.

If you are faced with a situation where you are required to deliver immediately, questions help you give yourself the pep talk you need to come up with answers.

Telling yourself what your subconscious does not believes puts pressure on your mind and these pressures shut down the possibility of accessing the inner resources and creativity needed to achieve your desired results.

But when you tweak your statements to become question, you open up doors to the possibility of coming up with answers that you need to solve your problems.

Fighting your negative thoughts and what your subconscious deeply believes does not bring solutions. A better and more powerful strategy that is known to be better than affirmation is understand your negative beliefs and your subconscious. This way you reduce the need to fight with them. Rather than make them your rival, they become your ally. If you are to better yourself, you need their cooperation so that you can get your desired result.

In your self-talk steps towards reconditioning your mind, being interrogative can be very effective. Become aware of status at the moment whether they are positive or negative. Tweak your statements and turn them into questions. Example is, rather than say “I am”, you should say “Am I….?”

With these questions, you can come up with possible answers. You should not stop there – from your answers bring up additional questions like “What If…?” Remember we are on a quest to improving ourselves and becoming a better us.

Striking up curiosity in you will lead to creativity which will be the perfect solution to your inner struggles. Dealing with these struggles will in turn reduce the tension in your body and help you relax.

It is not going to cause you much to tweak the way you approach issues in solving your problems. All you have to do is ask the questions that will help you achieve excellent end results.

How To Live Life Courageously (5 Ways)

Courageous personality: Character and traits of a person

How To Live Life Courageously (5 Ways)

How To Live Life Courageously

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that “fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”

Some fears, of course, are perfectly normal; they keep us human. Others are bad. They tell us, “you can’t, it is impossible, don’t, it’s too risky.” Toxic fear stops us from pursuing our dreams, achieving our goals and becoming the best versions of ourselves.

People make the mistake of trying to avoid or get rid of fear. However, what this does is only to fuels anxiety. When they do this, they start worrying about worrying. Meanwhile, they, remain stuck.

Instead, your goal should be to take action to free yourself from the control fear have over you. This takes courage, is about moving forward despite how scared you are.

Living courageously is about shifting your focus away from attempting to stop being afraid to pursuing a full and meaningful life alongside of fear.

Here is how you can go about it:

Define Your Core Values.

This is the first step in living courageously – the fundamental life principles that you must hold most dearly so as to give your life meaning and direction. Values might include love, belongingness, achievement, adventure, competition, etc.

Being aware of your core values and living by them gives you the confidence to say no to fear and yes to living a more fulfilled life — you very aware of who you are, know your priority, what is important to in your life, and where you are going.

For instance, if one of your values is honesty, you will not be scared to share your deepest feelings and concerns with your spouse or partner even though you fear it might lead to conflict.

“Living true to your values is really about living true to yourself.”

Live in the Present.

Fear is a very strong emotion because it lives in our imagination. It creates negative images in your, showing you pictures of a future that doesn’t exist. Wallowing in this fear is what keeps us stuck.

To overcome the power of fear, you need to focus on what is now — the present moment. It’s important to experience the present because it is actually what prepares us for the future. This is the essence of mindfulness, which actually means that you have to pay attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment. You have to do this without being judgmental.

When we live in the present, something extraordinary happens in your life. You overcome anxiety giving it no space in your life and you become aware of possibilities that you would have been blind to if you were worrying about the future.

Living fully present and mindfully is a simple yet challenging practice. It is counter that wakes you up in the morning to check email, find out how many things can be achieved in a day and so this requires intentional, daily practice and cultivation. If you are having trouble doing this, here is an exercise to get you started.

How To Live Life Courageously

First, sit in a position you are comfortable with, then you close your eyes. Take a deep breath for four seconds and exhale through your nose for another four seconds. Pay attention to the sound of your breath, try to listen and be aware of the rising and falling sound of your stomach. Thoughts will enter your mind but as they do notice them and release them by bringing your focus back to your breath.

The aim of this exercise is not to empty your mind of your thoughts and worries but rather to bring your awareness back to your breath as thoughts and feelings arise.

Practice this for 15 minutes a day and improve on your notice an increase of your attention on your breath over the weeks. What else do you notice? You will see yourself become aware of everything that happens in your life. You learn to live mindfully and be present.

Be compassionate to you.

Fear makes us become afraid. In situations like this, you have to be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that it is naturally normal to feel fear. That is why we are humans.

When you have trained yourself to be mindful of your thoughts, you can become aware of your fear and be able to handle them healthily. This is possible because you will now become aware that fear is that emotion that we cannot get rid of all our lives.

There are times that fear will succeed in making decisions for you. When this happens, you should also recognize this and not be harsh on yourself. When you fail, the experience should refine you and not define you. Your experiences from failure should make you become a better person and nothing less.

Successful people will always tell you that failures makes up part of your success stories. Facing this fact and coming to terms with it will really help you move forward in your life.

Draw Upon Past Success.

They are times that you will be faced with situations that strike up anxiety even when you have been successful with it in the past. When situations like this arise, remind yourself that you have been through this before and there is every possibility that you can win again.

A simple mantra you can recite to boost your moral is “I’ve been here, I’ve done this, and I can do it now.”

This mantra can really help you overcome these anxious moments so that you come out successful again. It is about improving on your performance anytime it matters most.

Surround Yourself With Compassionate People.

Even at the time you are scared in your life, you don’t need negative people around you. What you need are compassionate people and people that are supportive.

It is very necessary so as to get over this stage. These people can be your friend, family members or even your therapist. It helps to know that you have someone willing to listen to you.

Make an effort to spend time with these people. This is because they can be of immeasurable help in dealing with your fears and anxieties. Even when you are alone, ensure that you stay away from negative people. These people will suck out the positivity in you and any chance that you might muster up the energy to take action.

You need people that will help you build your life and not people that will pull you down.

There are some fears in your life that you can learn to overcome and outgrow. There are also those that stick to you for the rest of your life. But with these tips as mentioned in this article, you should be able to handle them healthily or at least live harmoniously with them without your fears hampering your life’s development and deterring your growth.

Learn To Take Bold Steps Even When You Are Unsure Of Yourself

Learn To Take Bold Steps Even When You Are Unsure Of Yourself

You can never imagine what you are capable of. You can only find out when you try. When people are faced with situation there are not familiar with, then get scared. It is this fear that discourages them to take action and make attempts.

While it is normal for us to be scare of uncertainties and unfamiliar grounds, it is does not stop us from taking action. When you let fear of unfamiliar occurrences and situations stop you from doing something, it means that you are underrating yourself and not giving yourself room to grow.

For you to be better than what you were yesterday, you have to force yourself to try new things. You have to be ready for newer and stranger experiences. Some of them will be good but definitely not all of them.

For whatever these experiences are, you have to be ready to take them as lessons to learn. You might be surprised that you might attempt to try something for the first time and still succeed in it.

I know you are not sure of yourself and your ability to succeed, but how can you be sure of what you are capable of if you do not give it a trial. You have to learn to take bold steps when you are faced with unfamiliar situations.

It is at that time that you are most unsure of yourself that you need to take that bold step. Whether you fail or succeed the experiences your get will be of great benefit to you.

By the time you continue to attempt things that you are unsure of, you see yourself building your confidence and overcoming your fear of uncertainties and failure. This is one major tool to achieving success and living a fulfilled life.

When you are faced with situations where you are unsure of yourself, what you really have to do in situations like this is think of the bigger picture. What do you stand to gain if you succeed in your attempt? If you really desire the end point, you will not mind making a thousand attempts.

The experiences we gather in our daily lives makes up who we are and who we turn out to be. There are like building blocks to the final masterpiece.

Have it in your mind that these building blocks are made up of our happy and sad moments, our successes and our failures. You also have to take note of an important fact, many successful people I know had a lot of failure blocks before crowning it all with just the success block.

What I mean by this is that a mind that is determined to succeed is psychologically and emotionally ready for failure. People with this mindset don’t care about how many times they fail; all they care about is getting to the finish line.

So with this, I believe that you should be ready to succeed by taking bold steps towards success and achievements even when you are unsure of yourself.

When You Condemn Your Partner’s Character In Your Relationship

When You Condemn Your Partner’s Character In Your Relationship

When you condemn your partner’s character in your relationship

Why do people condemn their partners a lot? There are always trying to change their partner, saying words that bring them down because they are not comfortable with some areas of their lives.

Sometimes, when I see people behave like this in their relationship, I kind of ask myself why you decided to date this person in the first place.

Love is all about loving and accepting a person the way he or she is. Accepting the person for their downside is also part of the deal. But when you keep criticizing this person, then it means that you either don’t love this person or you have an issue with yourself which you don’t want to admit.

Sometimes you claim you love someone and yet you put this person down with your constant criticism. I know you want to change this person to suit your taste or maybe standard. But love is about accepting someone the way they are.

When You Condemn Your Partner’s Character In Your Relationship

If the person you are dating is having certain negative traits that you cannot stand, you should help him or her overcome such traits. This is after your partner might have accepted that he or she needs help.

Criticism does not do any good to your relationship’s health – rather it brings it down and breaks it. You need to learn to love your partner the way he or she is so that you can build a happy relationship.

Constant criticism of your partner’s character will only make them feel down and unworthy of you. With this constant feeling in this relationship, they are tempted to leave. I know you will not want this especially when you know you love this person.

A person that is always brought down by his or her partner is bound to leave when he or she finds another person that makes them feel good about themselves.

If you don’t want this, then learn to accept the downsides f your partner, showing him or her love and understanding. Acceptance is the key.

Letting Go Of What Cannot Be Controlled To Ease Stress

What Cannot Be Controlled

Letting Go Of What Cannot Be Controlled To Ease Stress

Sometimes we humans are the ones stressing ourselves over things that do not deserve our time. We worry too much and as a result bring stress upon our lives.

The unfortunate aspect of people getting worried is that they worry about things that deserve their time and things that don’t.

Take for instance worrying about what people think of you. This will be a waste of time because you can never control people’s thought of you.

When you worry about what people think of you, you see yourself worrying about what to do to control their thoughts of you. This will make you begin to try to change who you are, thereby losing your identity.

You lose your identity, force yourself to become what and who you are not and at same time fail at controlling people’s thought about you.What Cannot Be Controlled

What you should do rather is be yourself and control aspects of your life you have control over. When you are done with this, you ignore the ones that you have no control over.

You will be unfair to yourself when you stress your life over things about your life that you have no control over. You have to let go of them.

Because of the fear of uncertainties, you worry over these issues when there is absolutely nothing you can do to affect the outcome.

These areas of your life will always be there and uncertainties are all part of what makes up our life. There are not meant to stress up your life but they will have that power when you begin to fear failure, feeling you are not good enough or good for yourself, start wondering about what people are thinking of you and so on.

Understand that these feelings you have are normal but you have the power to stop them from causing you stress. They are all in your head and there bring about the fear of not being able to live up to your fantasy.

It is these fantasies that you have that makes you feel you have control over the world you really have no control over. You know you have no control over these issues and you allow the fear of these lack of control to cause you stress.

Even as it is okay to have these feelings, learn to feel at ease your mind amidst these chaos and uncertainties. Rather than trying to have control, learn to let go of these controls or the desire to have them.

Just trust that things will work out. The less you fear uncertainties, the less stressful your life will be.

Focusing On A Single Task Can Help Reduce Stress

Focusing On A Single Task Can Help Reduce Stress

Focusing On A Single Task Can Help Reduce Stress

Life can sometimes be crazy and what causes us stress is when our mind is not at peace with itself. Because we worry about things or situations around us causes us worry that we become stressed.

But there is a way that you can overcome all that, by being in the moment, not distracted, but wholly being in the moment.

Being in the moment whole is like distracting yourself from that and those things that are causing you stress.Focusing On A Single Task Can Help Reduce Stress

For this to work you have to insert yourself in this activity and this activity should be one you enjoy.

When you are lost in the moment, it becomes easy for you to lose contact with your stressors and the more you disconnect to your stressors, the easier it is for you to be less stressed.

There is always this rush for us to hurriedly finish up with our present task and move on to the next one. The truth is that they will always be a next task for us and if you keep worry about them you get stressed.

It is easier to get over this worry by being in the present with your present task. This way you are able to do it well before moving on to the next and staying focused till you are done with it too.

The world is always in a hurry to do things and get things done. We have to learn to slow down in life because it is these situations that cause us the stresses we feel in life.

You can start now, learn to take a break. Teach yourself to backup from the regular rush of life. You will learn to live a stress free life.

Why Do People, Men And Women Hate Their Body?

Why Do People Men And Women Hate Their Body

Why do people, men and women hate their body?

Why Do People Men And Women Hate Their Body It can be very funny sometimes, seeing someone that is very intelligent, accomplished, successful in many ways, intelligent, ambitious, kind and compassionate and thoughtful and passionate about helping, genuine, trustworthy and honest, with all these qualities still hate this or her body.

I know this sounds crazy but it is true. You might be wondering how some people with so much positive traits flowing in them still not feel comfortable about his or her body. Another aspect could be that people admire them and wish to be like them, but they don’t seem to notice these admirations – they want something else, to be proud of their body.

I want to understand people like this. I want to understand how they feel and what is prompting this feeling in them. With the constant bombardment of the media on what the standard of beauty is, it is only normal for people that look differently to begin to feel bad.

The messages about beauty these media channels pass might be unrealistic but it is unfortunate that people tend to believe whatever message that is being passed by these media channels. This belief is either because of repetition or trust that these media channels have built with their viewers.

Believing if something whether it is true or not is possible when you believe the channel from which the message is being passed. It is about the trust you have for the source. The power of the media over people is repetition and even though we don’t know this, media channels are strong and reliable sources to reconditioning and repositioning our mindsets and views about life.

Because they do this does not mean that they are right all the time. When they constantly show you that you have to be slim to feel beautiful, how else will you feel if not to believe what they say and hide most part of your body that you are not comfortable with.

Because large cosmetics and beauty companies wants to make sales, they have pushed billions of dollars into adverts and messages they pass onto people. With this development, it becomes easier to feel insulted or hurt when someone calls you fat.

Everyone has to be something and everyone cannot be slim just as everyone cannot be fat. Because you view yourself as fat or not up to the current standards does not mean that you are necessarily fat or ugly, it is just that you tell yourself that you are not yet up to the standard you feel is okay, which is most times standards we get from these media channels.Why Do People Men And Women Hate Their Body

With the power of photoshop and other editing media softwares, many magazines and TV houses have designed unbelievable skins and body shapes that people are now killing themselves to attain that picture they saw in their favorite show or magazine. Some even hurt themselves in the process, all in the name of trying to be “Hot.”

You have to learn to be proud of your body. When you want to make changes in your body like hit the gym, do it because you want to better yourself, not because you want to punish yourself till it attains your desired shape.

Learn to know when the media is conditioning your mind because it is one of the keys to freedom in life. If you observe closely, you see that people rarely make decisions for themselves and when they do it is not because it is good for them, they take most decisions because it is what the media says.

The media is now a channel to changing personal standards and norms. What we now see in the media becomes the norms. When you refuse to act like everybody because it is what the media says, then you begin to feel odd.

It is high time you break away from this chain and do things for yourself because you think it is right for you and not because the media says so. When you make changes in your life, take little steps and achieve it. Do not do it in a hurry or you see yourself breaking down after a while.

Be proud of yourself and do what you can to better yourself. Do not punish yourself by hating your body. Be proud of it and seek better ways to continue to improve you.

So whenever you feel like you are not proud of your body, try to understand the real reason why you are feeling this way. Is it your body that really needs changes, or is it your mindset?

Mistakes You Must Avoid To Keep Your Relationship Safe

Keep Your Relationship Safe

Mistakes You Must Avoid To Keep Your Relationship Safe

Keep Your Relationship Safe

How can one keep his or her relationship safe and long lasting? What are the mistakes that tear relationships apart? Sometimes, all it takes are little mistakes and our relationship begins to deteriorate even without us knowing it. Some people are aware of this while some see nothing wrong in them.

You might say them thinking that it does not matter when the truth remains that they are the causes of relationships tearing apart. Relationships do not come to an end in one day; it is a result of little unnoticeable errors that partners commit without thinking of the after-effect.

If you want to keep your relationship safe, you have to learn to avoid these little mistakes so that you can keep your relationships healthy and happy. I don’t think anyone wants a relationship that brings him or her joy to come to an end. But as many do not want this for their relationship, they still make these little unnoticeable mistakes.

It is these mistakes that we will be looking at so that you can avoid them and keep your relationship safe.

Keep Your Relationship Safe

1. Condemnation of a person’s character – Many mistake people make in their relationship is to condemn their partner’s character. This condemnation is as a result of desiring their partner to change to the partner of their dream or there are comparing their partner to someone else.

Some people talk down on their partner because they love to intimidate their partners. They do so because they want to feel ahead in the relationship and make their partner believe they are lucky to have them in their life.

You might be doing this without any selfish motive at heart but know that this action, though it means nothing to you, destroys your partner’s self esteem. When you truly love someone, you will love the person for who they are and don’t try to change this person.

3. Hateful gestures – I know they are gestures, but as long as they are hateful, they will destroy your relationship. Saying these words to your partner will make them feel down and unworthy of you. They are most likely to fall in love with another person that makes them feel good about themselves.

It does not matter if you don’t intend to hurt your partner, but saying those hateful words to them will surely hurt their feelings and this destroys relationships.

Keep Your Relationship Safe

3. Denying responsibility – Another mistake people make in their relationship is that they refuse to accept responsibility for something they’ve done or something that went wrong.

Many partners are too proud to apologize when they do something wrong. This might not mean much to you but it is harmful to your relationship. Rather than take responsibility for your action, you resort to blaming your partner. Taking responsibility for your mistakes can indeed help you become a better person and help your relationship progress.

4. The silent treatment – Some people use this as a weapon to hurt their partner but this does not help a relationship. Communication is an important part of every relationship and silent treatment kills it.

Effective communication helps any relationship thrive and when you apply silent treatment to your relationship, then you are not doing it any good.

The key thing to remember is…

Keep Your Relationship Safe

There will always be differences in relationships. These relationships are not the problem people have in their relationship; it is how they handle these misunderstandings that define how healthy a relationship is.

Many people make the mistake of attempting to change their partners or their minds, but this is not always possible. This is because most of their misunderstandings are rooted in the fundamental differences of opinion, personalities and values. When you argue with your partner over these deep rooted differences, you will be doing nothing but wasting your time and destroying your relationship.

What you should do in your relationship is to copy the pattern people in healthy relationship follow in resolving their issues.

They do this by accepting one another and not trying to change themselves. Problems will always be part of any relationship, but as you resolve them using healthy ways, you grow wiser and stronger in your relationship.

Acceptance is a very important factor in any relationship. Do this and you will be on your way to a healthy, stronger and happier relationship.

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

What are the characteristics of happy couples? These are the habits you see in couples that are happy in their marriage? When you see couples displaying their public show of affection, do not think that it is that marriage that made them happy. Well this is not always the case. Their union is most times characterized by the work they out on themselves and on the marriage to make it work.

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

A happy marriage is all about two happy individuals coming together to make themselves happier. Happy couples take care of themselves individually. It is this joy and happiness in them that they reflect in their marriage.

Happy couples don’t let outsiders come into their marriage. They make it a point of duty to keep third parties away from their marriage. Happy couples understand that they union is unique and see no reason to compare it with that of their parents, neighbors, friends or coworkers.

Looking at a happy marriage you can observe intimacy. This is one secret that strengthens their bonds and make them happier and trust each other.

Happy couples don’t try to change their partner. They love themselves for whom they are and understand that everyone is unique in their own way. If any changes in going to be made, it is going to be for self improvement and not because they are trying to please their partner or want their partner to change to their dream man or woman.

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

Happy couples make out uninterrupted time for themselves and for their marriage. This is another secret that helps them build a stronger marriage. When they say something to one another, they ensure that they say what they mean and mean what they say.

Even when they are thrashing out an issue, happy couples know that it is best to listen to your partner, understand their pain and anger before you reply. They know better than to play with each other’s heart and heads. These areas are delicate parts of any human and happy couples take their partner’s heart and head serious.

You always see them smiling and ensuring that they cheer each other up. Everyone has got their downtime and sad times. This is the time you need the one you love most in your life and this is what happy couples do for themselves – be there when their partner needs them the most to cheer them up.

In a happy marriage, couples talk openly about their dreams and goals and how they plan to achieve them. They do this with confidence because they know that their partner is always there to support them through the whole journey.

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

When happy couples put head together on matters concerning the family, they negotiate and compromise on matters. Making selfish decisions and insisting that their will be done is not something you see in a happy marriage.

When something goes wrong, they don’t play the trade blame. Happy couples take responsibility for their mistakes and work towards ensuring that it does not repeat itself.

When arguing, happy couples don’t blow things out of proportion and when they notice that the argument getting heated, they control their anger, and most time walk away. This way they don’t allow their relationship degenerated into something they don’t like. When the argument is over and everyone is calm, happy couples apologize to themselves and let bygones be bygones.

The Characteristics Of Happy Couples and Marriage

Practicing patience and forgiveness daily is one healthy tip and secret you find in a happy marriage. We are all humans and we are bound to err at one time or another. This is why forgiveness and patience are important tips in needed in every marriage.

The final tip I have for you is making sacrifices for the one you know you love. In a happy marriage, you will definitely see partners making sacrifices and concessions for their partner. This is how they are able to carry through trying times.

It is never too late to apply these tips in your marriage so that you can enjoy the happiness that comes with this union.

Standing Together As Couples To Build A Stronger Marriage

Can I find happiness in marriage

Standing Together As Couples To Build A Stronger Marriage

Stronger marriage


You know, when you see couples displaying their public show of affection and passion, you wish you have something like that. But for those that already have something similar in their marriage and relationships, they understand what it takes to build something so strong and let it thrive for years unend.

But for those that only admire, don’t know what it feels like to be happy in their marriage and relationships and wish to have something similar, know that something like this takes hard work.

It is not that hard if you put your mind to it, but know that it also takes dedication and willingness to want to make it work. One of the secrets of happy couples is that they stand together as one and refuse to let outsiders call the shot. It might sound simple but it is not every marriage that has the ability to stick to this rule.

While we say marriage is about sticking to this rule, we are also talking about the individuals involved. It is these individuals that come together to form a family and they are the ones to stick to this rule if they want to build a stronger marriage like the one they desire and admire.

What It Means To Stand Together

stronger marriage

What we are talking about here is sticking together through thick and thin. Some people are with the delusion that a perfect marriage is without troubles and challenges and happy couples don’t fight. Sure they do. The difference between them and other couples is that they have healthy ways they use in dealing with their issues and these ways definitely has nothing to do with bringing outsiders into their marriage.

Another factor that has to do with their fight is that it helps their relationship to become stronger by improving their understanding of each other.

When I say standing together I mean not allowing any external factor to be a major player in the decisions you make individually with regards to your marriage.

Why You Should Stand Together

stronger marriage

You are the one admiring a stronger ad happier marriage, so you should be the one being willing and ready to do what it takes to achieve that. What I mean by this is that you and your partner should be able to make your decisions together without any external factor affecting your personal take on the matter.

When you do this, your understanding of yourselves will improve and you will see yourselves attaining that stage of a happy couple with every day that passes by. Remember that for every decision you take, it should be for the good and happiness of the marriage and this means that some compromise is part of the deal.

When outsiders call the shots

strong marriage

You will understand better by the time we talk about who the outsiders are. But when this is the scenario, then you either force your partner to bend to your rules or the marriage goes up in flames. Whichever way it is, we are talking about your marriage being what it is because of your ignorance and selfishness.

Who are the outsiders?

stronger marriage

Friends: This is how it always turns out. You have an issue and you talk to your friends and seek for advice from them on how they handle similar issues in their marriage, relationships or personal lives. You forget that every relationship is unique and two different relationships are never the same. So they give you advice based on their own perspective and you take it forgetting that what works for them might not work for you because your partner is another unique person.

Parents: Your parents will also give you advice based on experience and history. You forget that their marriage is unique and different from yours. I know they love you and mean well for you but times have changed; their time and now are not the same. It doesn’t mean they cannot guide you and give you helpful advice, but know when they are trying to intrude.

Siblings: Your siblings I want to believe love you and want the best for you. But don’t let their mindset and perception affect the relationship you share with your partner. Their love for you might be what you require in making important decisions in your marriage.

Media: The messages you get from the media can also affect you decisions and how you make decisions in your marriage. Not all messages that come from the media are safe for your marriage. So be careful with what you listen to and apply in your marriage.

Self: Sometimes your perception and experiences of the past might be affecting your decisions in your marriage and this might not be good for your relationship. So know when you need change in perception so that you can give your marriage a chance to survive.


The main key to keeping outsiders from your marriage and relationship is being able to recognize when they want to intrude. When you are watchful and note when they want to intrude you can stop them and kick them out.

You desire happy marriage or relationship right? Then here is one of the rules to that. Keep it and you will be on your way to a blessed union void of sadness.

Living a Fulfilled Life: Don’t Die With The Regret Of Not Trying

Living a Fulfilled Life 1

How to live a fulfilled life

Living a Fulfilled Life 1

We’ve only got one life to live. It can be very painful when you look back in your life and you regret not standing up for anything in life. I am talking about something you are willing to fight for till the end. Something that you can look back at and be proud of yourself, be proud that you tried.

People are dying like this every day and one cause of it all that they were afraid of failing. There are those that started but gave up after few failures.

But to be able to look back at your life and be proud of yourself, there are certain steps you have to follow. Living a fulfilled life has got rules and if you are not able to follow them, then I don’t know how else to advice you.

So go ahead and take a dip.

Give yourself a mission

Living a Fulfilled Life 2

It all starts with a mission, a mission to succeed, a mission to live the life of your dreams, a mission to be happy and fulfilled. So many people go through life daydreaming about what they want from life but it is not all of them that take actions to make those dreams a reality.

When you get to talk to most of them, you hear different excuses why it is hard or impossible to allocate time to working towards their dreams. Some of them are just scared of the uncertainties that have to do with the path they desire to thread.

If you are confused about a mission to give yourself and you don’t just know how to go about it, the answer is simple, your passion. The best mission you can give yourself is to follow your passion and make something out of it.

When you follow your passion and something you love, you will be willing to do all it takes to achieve it.

Be determined to carry out that mission

Living a Fulfilled Life 3

When you hear people give one reason or the other why they cannot allocate time to their dreams, know that this person is not determined enough. When you dream of something and desire to achieve something, the question you should ask yourself is, how much you want it.

The burning desire to achieve something will determine how much effort you are willing to put to get it.

Some people have passion, but they don’t just have the audacity to make the changes required to get ahead. When you are determined about something, you will make out time no matter how small to attend to it; that is if you find yourself busy with something else.

Age has nothing to do with this because there are people that changes their lives in their late 60s, build a successful business at 66 and graduated from college at 57. It does not matter how old you are or how difficult it is, what matters is how much you want it.

Be ready to fail till the end

Living a Fulfilled Life 4

For something that you are really determined to achieve, you should be ready to fail till the end. Why I stated till the end here is to help you condition your mind to stick to the journey no matter how many times you fail.

When you desire something and be determined to fail till the end, what it means is that you are ready to keep trying no matter how many times you fail. With this mindset, you are most likely to succeed in whatever you do.Living a Fulfilled Life 5

You rarely see people that are willing to try something all their life fail. This is because as you continue to try and fail, you see yourself learning and improving. These lessons and improvements are sure to help you succeed.

So the secret of not giving up is not giving your mind a timeframe to give up. Tell yourself that you will keep trying until you get what you want.

Get rid of distraction and negativity

Living a Fulfilled Life 6

And as you continue try and fail, know that people around you will always be there to tell you that you are wasting your time. There will always remind you of how many people that failed trying to do what you are doing.

For every failure, they will laugh and curse you and do everything possible to discourage you. These people do these things not because they are right, some of them are scared of your audacity, others are just jealous because you dared to do something they failed at.

There are those that are filled with negativity, frustration and impossibility. Having people like this around you is the strongest distraction you can ever have in your quest to succeed.Living a Fulfilled Life 7

You don’t need people like this around you. You will have to cut them off or at least spend less time with them. It is very difficult to cut people like this off from your life because they are most times your parents, siblings, relatives and best friends. So when you know that you cannot cut them off entirely, reduce the amount of time you spend with them and spend more time with people that are supportive and understand your dreams.

Look at the big picture

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As you go on in life, you will always lose steam and feel like giving up. There is also the possibility of you questioning the viability of your ideas and the possibility of your dream coming to reality.

At this time you feel demotivated, what you need are ways to stay motivated. You can do this by looking at the big picture and reminding yourself why you got involved in the first place.

Looking at the big picture will also remind you of the importance of staying in the race till the end.

Your turn

You don’t have to live a life of regret. You can teach yourself to fail by starting with little projects that you are willing to fail at. When you learn to fail and overcome the pain, you can go ahead to bigger project.

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The essence of this plan is to teach your subconscious how to accept failure in good faith and see it as part of success. You cannot fail all the time. There are times that you will succeed too after failing a few times. When you achieve these little victories, you will begin to understand the correlation between failing and success.

The whole story is about teaching yourself to try and having the guts to try again and again, accepting your challenges and setbacks in good faith.Living a Fulfilled Life 10

Let me hear what you have to say.

Success is a Continuous Process: Never Stop Putting in More Effort

Success is a Continuous Process 6

Success is a Continuous Process: Never Stop Putting in More Effort

Success is a Continuous Process 1

One fact about life is that the moment you stop moving forward, the world will move on and leave you behind. Success is not a race that you run to the finish line and you say that is all there is to it. Success is about running a race, finishing it and starting another one almost immediately.

Even when you have a long term goal, you break it into short term goals so that it becomes easy and attainable for you on the long run. As you take on the short term goals one after the other, you work to complete them and immediately after completing one you move on to the next one. This is how the principles of success and living a successful life work.

Success is a Continuous Process 2

What will I do next to progress?

This is the common question you hear successful people ask themselves. This is one major reason why their success can only grow and become larger.

The hunger to do something great is always burning in them. They make plans, take actions and make their desires become a reality. When they have achieved something great, while the applause is still high, they get themselves involved in another great project, almost immediately.

Success is a Continuous Process 3

Even if they fail attempting something new, it doesn’t stop them from trying other new things. The funny thing about trying and failing for successful people is that they see it as fun. They see it as lesson to learn. Rather than think about how many times they failed, they think about how many times they learned ways not to do something.

These mistakes act as a building block to their final success and there know that when they are done, starting another new venture is all about trying and failing until you win again.

Development and successSuccess is a Continuous Process 4

Let us take a look at the tech world. What makes it great and competitive is that these technology companies have the hunger to make greater and more marketable products for the consumers.

They are aware that humans will always want more but this time, better and more entertaining. If these companies don’t provide their teaming loyal customers what they are looking for, they are only going to run out of business in a short time.

Success is a Continuous Process 5

The buzz for change and improvement is a fast one and development has great correlation with success. When you don’t develop yourself and add to your showcase of past trophies, is a short while, your past trophies will be seen as old school because people are doing better than that.

Once you achieve success, see it as a past tense because it is a past tense. While in high school, when you celebrate your graduation, you already know that you are done with that stage of life. What you will be thinking of next is either college or ways to improve yourself to become a better person. You will not continue to look at your high school diploma and celebrate

your high graduation for the next one year. If you do that people will think of you as delusional and unbalanced.

Everything in life is work in progress

Success is a Continuous Process 6

Everything in life when it comes to success is work in progress and that includes your life even if you are yet to achieve the success you desire. When you try and fail and you try again, know that all these errors are parts of the building blocks that make up your successes that are to come.

Even when you think you’ve arrived, know that you a

re still a job in progress. There are greater things out there that is yet to found and achieved. You can either do it in your life time or someone else will do it in his or her life time.

Start Now

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But I want to think that you will want to be the one to achieve greater things in your life that will speak for you for generations to come. It is not impossible when you have the ability to start now.

All it takes to achieve something no matter how great or little is the will to desire it and the audacity to take action. You have to be prepared to face the troubles and negativities that will arise both from you questioning the viability of your ideas and those around you that think you are wasting your time.

Being determined and ready to continue no matter what is the key to achieving greater things.

Why Can’t Find Happiness In My Marriage?

Can I find happiness in marriage

Can I find happiness in marriage

This is rather an unfortunate question to ask? It can be painful when you hear someone say what was supposed to be a joyful union is now lacking the very essence why two people come together to spend the rest of their lives as one.

Many people go into marriage with the hope that the joy and laughter they seek for can be found in this union. Well you might not be far from the truth if you have this perception but you can be wrong in many ways when you have this perception.

When it comes to getting married, many people get into it because of the wrong reasons. This is why after a while, the marriage begins to suffer. Not because the partners don’t love each other, but the reality that set in has opened up many truths to them.

These truths I am talking about is yet to be seen or noticed by many couples but those that have the opportunity to talk to therapist and counselors, they are able to find solutions to ignite the love they once had for themselves.

That being said, the secret of a long lasting relationship relies a lot on the foundation that was laid by individual parties before getting into the relationship in the first place. And the important parts of these foundations are laid in the heart and minds before the rest is laid in the actions and work done to sustain a healthy relationship.

There are those that get married because their partners are great in bed. There are those that get married because they are in love with their partner and they think that is all they need in marriage. There are those that go into marriage because of the financial prowess of their partner. There are those that feel lonely and need someone to stay with to complete them.

All these reasons and many more are wrong mindset people have about marriage so they sail on with this ship only for it to capsize when hit with the smallest storm.

Now looking at the main topic of this post, we are talking about someone that can seem to find happiness in marriage even after getting into it.

When you look at the topic, you will understand that this person got into marriage for the wrong reason and had wrong perception of what marriage is all about. People like this go into marriage because they assume that they can find happiness in marriage alone.

People like this are of the notion that they need someone in their life to feel complete. They believe that it is only when you find that special someone that you can find happiness. This perception makes them look up to their partner, depending on them for happiness.

When they finally get into the relationship, it is only a matter of time before they realize that the happiness they seek cannot be found in their partner. They then get disappointed and begin to find another means of achieving happiness.

Here is the truth that you have to know if you have this kind of mindset you will never find happiness in anybody if you don’t find it in yourself. No matter how wonderful your partner is, he or she cannot guarantee you eternal happiness.

Happy relationships and happy marriages are characterized by two happy people who came together to make themselves happier. Note the statement “Two Happy People.” What this means is that they had found happiness in themselves even before they came together to be one.

Happiness is an inside job. If you cannot stimulate it in you, I don’t know how you expect someone else to stimulate it in you. If you have this perception, then it means that you can only be clingy and needy in your relationships. This in turn will make you prone to abuse and being taken for granted. When you continue with this mindset, you are only setting yourself up for a life full of frustration and sadness.

I don’t know what more to say to you but if you have more question, hit me up in the comment box and I will respond. When you find out that you can’t find happiness in your relationship, you should talk to a therapist on how you can begin to practice self-love. This is the key to finding happiness in yourself.

When you are able to appreciate and love yourself, who knows, you might have more than enough love to give in your marriages and relationships, and you can also be happy.



Can I find happiness in marriage?

Can I find happiness in marriage

Can I find happiness in marriage

This is for those that are looking for happiness most especially in their relationship and at the peak of them all, marriage.

Before you ask this question then it is a sign that you are searching for happiness and you hope to find it in your marriage and partner.

Well if you are thinking this way then you are in the right place because I am going to give you the answer that is just right for you.

Coming back to your question, can you find happiness in your marriage? The short and answer is yes and no.

There is a yes to the question as well as there is a no.

Just like any other relationship, the joy, love and happiness you derive from it all depends on you. This is the same with marriage.

Before you think and hope to find happiness in your marriage, do you have any happiness in you to give in the relationship? If you don’t then don’t expect to find one in your marriage.

This is because you will always get what you give in life. If you want love, happiness and fulfillment and hope to get it in a relationship, you must be ready to give it too.

When you are not able to give it, I don’t know how your partner can radiate this happiness in your relationship.

What I am trying to say is that you don’t need a relationship or a marriage to be happy. You need to first find love and happiness in yourself before you can get it in your relationships.

This is often the case of people that think that they need a partner to complete them and make them happy – the case of searching for Mr. Right.

There is no Mr. Right anywhere. You have to be right for you before you can be right for someone else. People that are able to find love and happiness in themselves do find themselves in happy relationship. And people that are insecure and suffer from inferiority complex do find themselves in abusive relationship.

Ever wonder why you see someone come out of an abusive relationship only to find themselves in another abusive relationship. It is not that they are destined to be in these relationships, but it is who they are that attracts the kind of partners they get.

When you are insecure and lack self-esteem, you see yourself being clingy in a relationship and this makes you perfect match for abusive partners because you are just what they are looking for.

But if you are a confident person that believes in him or herself, a person that knows that you don’t need someone to feel loved and happy, you can only attract to yourself people that are in love with your personality.

With this joy and love you have to share, you will see yourself being happy in your relationships because you are already happy before you got into it.

So don’t go about deluding yourself that you can only be happy when you get married. You can find happiness in yourself without getting married. When you are able to do this, you now have the choice to get engaged with someone so that you both can share in that happiness. But of course this partner of yours must have found happiness in self too.

So that is my take on this issue. Rather than hope that a marriage or any other relationship will give you happiness, you should work on finding happiness and love in yourself. Only then can you be able to find it in your marriages and relationships.