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Monday, May 22, 2017

Controlling personality characteristics and traits



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What are the characteristics and traits of a controlling personality or a controlling person? We use the word personality because it is a means of defining the traits that a person is made of. Having a controlling personality plays a strong role on how someone relates with people around them.

Having a controlling personality makes a person not to find a balance between the way they make decisions over someone and the emotions of that someone. A person with controlling personality can hardly be mature at heart and people like this are always seeking out for their own interest. Because a person is controlling and want to control someone, they can resort to manipulative characters in other to achieve their aim.

A personality of this nature has been likened to various personality disorders like histrionic personality disorder (HPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Other characters that have also been observed from people that have controlling personalities are stubbornness, narcissism and being antisocial in nature.

People with this personality do need help but most of them do not agree that they have a personality disorder and need help. Most of them see their controlling nature as natural and part of them; something that they have no control over. But they is a great difference between someone being a choleric and someone having a controlling personality. We will now be taking a look at characteristics and traits when observed in a person prove that they have controlling personality.

Characteristics of controlling personality

People that have controlling personality do portray larger than life images. They sometimes tell exaggerated stories about their successes in life. While people like this tend to pretend but the truth is that what they seek for is nothing but admiration and attention. Controlling people are often satisfied when you compliment them even if it is superficial.

In a relationship, controlling personality is often accompanied with jealousy. A person with this personality often asks their partners question of where they have been and who they have been spending their time with. They will always want their partners to spend more time with them and will want to control who their partner spend their time with and for how long. At the beginning of the relationship, people like this do not often display this trait, but as time goes by you get to see them displaying their controlling nature.

Controlling personality is often accompanied with mood swings. Mood swings are part of our everyday life but people that have controlling personalities use these emotional swings as a means of getting people to do what they want, either with the use of force or out of pity. It is a form of getting into the spotlight when they feel they are not getting all the attention they desire.

Read: Narcissistic personality disorder test: The Characteristics

A person that has a controlling personality do not react quite well when asked simple questions like what they want or where they want to meet. They often feel offended when asked these questions because they feel that you are supposed to know what they want without asking. Their controlling nature makes them believe that you are supposed to put them ahead of your needs and desires. Whenever they are posed with questions that they have no answer for, people like this tends to lie. Why people with controlling nature often feel offended when asked questions is because their mentality makes them think that it is in questions lies the authority. This is why they prefer being the one asking the questions.

People with controlling personality do find it hard to take no for an answer. It is in their nature to make decisions for other and this is why they expect you to agree with whatever they say. So whenever they feel that you are not conforming to their will or disagreeing with their wish, they don’t tend to react well. It is all about their ego.

Controlling personality can be observed in a person where they try to talk you down all in the name of honest remarks. The truth is that people like this get uncomfortable when people around them appear to be better than them. Because they feel threatened, they will want to talk down on you so as to appear as the star at all times.

People that have controlling personality are known to be hot tempered. Whenever you summon up the courage to disagree with their wish and desires, you should be prepared to face their fury because they will use every possible means o talk you down. People like this do not mind using cruel words to hurt you because they really don’t care about your feeling.

It is not in the nature of a controlling person to be happy at another person’s success story. They tend to feel threatened and get jealous when someone around them shows potential of being better than them. This personality is the reason why you see people like this surrounding themselves with people that are less flashy and attractive than them. Why? Because they want to remain the center of attraction among their colleagues and clique.
Why people have controlling personality

Most times people with controlling personality are not born with it, that is to say a natural personality; it could be as a result of their upbringing or experience they gathered in life they grew up. This character is also seen in kids and teens too and can be as a result of the way they are been treated at home. What remains the fact is that they are controlling because they want to remain the center of attraction. And why would someone want to be the center of attraction? Sometimes it can be as a result of neglect while growing up; this makes them seek any means necessary to get people to look their way and do their will.

As I would always say, if you are honest enough to recognize these characters in yourself, then it is wise you see professional help because of this personality disorder. And if you observe this is someone else, advise them to seek help.

READ  How to have strength of character and develop your own individuality

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About Ejike John,

Ejike John is a student of human characters and behaviors, a blogger, programmer, web developer and a lover of music. All he wants to do is write and get his name out there.