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Sunday, April 30, 2017

My husband wants a divorce but I still love him



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When your husband wants a divorce but you still love him

My husband wants a divorce but I still love him

My husband wants a divorce but I still love him

It can be very confusing when you love your husband and he insists that he wants a divorce. This is something that women find hard to come to terms with; especially when you cannot find out the root cause of his decision and what it is that discourages him in the marriage.

We will now be taking a look at what one has to do in other save your marriage.

What to do when your husband wants a divorce

The first time you get the news from your husband, it is normal for you to be surprised but it advisable that you cool down and down take unwarranted action. If you are angry, do nothing because actions taken when angry are usually regretted. What you are advised to do is calm down and find solutions to your problems.

You should also ensure that you avoid drama in your marriage. People that are usually known to have drama are people that grew up with parents that are used to drama especially in the presence of their children. Drama makes you look like an upset child and it is not what you need in your marriage.

Rather than drama, it is wise that you try to sit down with your husband and talk about your problems as adults.

For you to save your marriage when your husband wants divorce you have to try to find out the root cause of his decision, when you re able to identify the cause, you stand a better chance of saving your marriage.

Many times, men do not give a concrete reason why they want divorce, this might be because they too cannot lay their hands on the root cause why the lost interest in the relationship. So finding out is doing you both a favor.

Most times when men tell their wives they want a divorce, the first thing the woman thinks about is that the man now has someone outside. While there might be some truth in this, it is not always the case.

Sometimes it is because the man has lost the spark in the relationship. The feel like their wife is more of a room mate that a lover and a wife.

Emotionally losing interest might make them feel choked and want out of the relationship.

Though women will always want to defend themselves with the balancing the house cores with career and taking care of the kids. They also might think that they man is being selfish for thinking like that. While both of you are trying to defend your reasoning, you both have valid points.

You might be right to think that men are selfish to think this way but what you have to understand that if they thought to think like this for a second maybe they would not take this decision. But when men feel uncomfortable about a situation in their life, they don’t stop to think, they just take action that will get them out of the uncomfortable situation. This does not mean that they are right in their decisions but I want you to have a picture of what’s going on in this their minds.

The changes that these men experience range from physical change they see in their wives to emotional changes. When you take time to dialogue with these men for a while you will get to understand some of the things that go on in their mind.

You hear some of them say something like “she is a bit distant than she use to be when I met her”, “she is more focused on the kid and her friends than me”, “she lets herself to get out of shape”, and so many more. As hard as it might sound, men do think like this.

There might have been a disconnection: Many times when they is a story of divorce, people always liken it to money, sex or another person. But I think that the main reason divorce should spring its head up is due to lack of connection. The connection between the husband and wife has been lost and it did not happen immediately; it took a while.

I personally think that when two people share a feeling of connection and they feel that they are both part of a team, then minor thing cannot make them to think of separation. Why? Because they both invest their energy in the connections that they share.

But when there is a weak connection between a husband and a wife or no connection at all, it is easier for smaller things to come in between them. This is why it is important for women to try to find out where they lost the connection with their husbands. Your ability to find out where it went wrong gives you a greater chance of fixing your marriage and saving it from divorce.

When you are able to identify where the crack is from, you can be able to patch it up and work towards establishing your connection with your husband. As you succeed in this, you will see your marital problems gradually fade away and grow into a much stronger intimate one that you desire.

READ  What happens when you rush into a new relationship immediately after breakup?

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About Ejike John,

Ejike John is a student of human characters and behaviors, a blogger, programmer, web developer and a lover of music. All he wants to do is write and get his name out there.