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Sunday, April 23, 2017

The reason why people fall out of love



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What are the reasons why people fall out of love?

When you put out questions like this, you get to have multiple answers like, maybe there were not right for each other, or they could have been fight and arguing a lot. Some others will tell you that it is because they were not having enough sex, there are those that think that it happens when you fall in love with another person.

There are tons of answers that you can get from different people but the main reason is what we are going to be looking at in this article.

After looking at different reasons why people fall out of love, we have come to the conclusion that people fall out of love because they are humans. Yes, I know that it sounds weird but the truth is that we humans are built to fall in and out of love.

When two people fall in love with each other, if they don’t have a healthy relationship and don’t have an understanding of what true love is all about, they are not likely to get back together when they fall out of love. But if they have had a healthy relationship and have a better understanding of what true love is all about, they tend to fall back deeply in love even after falling out of love with each other.

So trying to better understand this phenomenon, we get to see that falling in and out of love is just as cyclical as the tides of an ocean.

This is what is seen in a scenario where someone jumps ship at the first sign of falling out of love.

Asking people why they fell out of love with their former partner, we most times get response like “I wasn’t just in love anymore.” When a relationship is new, you get feelings like butterfly in the stomach, increased heart rate, and the exhilarating feelings. But when we fall out of love, we no longer have these feelings as we first did.

When you are in love with this person, he or she made life worth living for you, you wake up in the morning and it is their faces that you want to see because they make you happy. Now when you look at this person, all you see is a regular, flawed and sometimes an annoying human being.

Remember that at first emotions were high but now you don’t just have those feelings anymore for this person.

You know, sometimes I want to blame the media and the movies and the romance novels. The other time I feel like blaming it on the ignorance of us humans. Movies and media have so conditioned the mind of people to the extent that they think that emotions like these are for happily ever after. With this expectation in mind, they get shocked when the other side of the emotional experience springs up.

But let us assume for a while that you knew this would happen, that you were expecting it that they will come a time in your relationship when you will no longer feel those butter flies in your stomach. If you are informed that this might happen, then you will not be shocked when it does. You will not be quick to jump ship or make rational decisions.

There is good news in recognizing that it is normal to fall out of love in a relationship. Once this happens, it can give you a level of satisfaction as you learn and work towards sustaining the love you once shared with your partner. This skill can be quite necessary when you want to build a healthy marriage or a long term relationship.

There are those people that do not have problem loving effortlessly. It can be that this people grew up in a loving family or maybe they know how to naturally enact the laws of love and loving actions required for sustaining any relationship for a long period of time. But for the rest of us, we will be requiring some form of assistance to help us carry our relationship all the way.
What to do what you fall out of love

Since we have now discovered that we tend to fall out of love because we are humans and they is nothing we can do to prevent this, we can now learn what to do to reignite the passion we once shared with our partner. Here is what to do:
#1. True love is something that you give

There is this general misconception going around that the love you feel for someone is something that happens to you. That is to say that for you to feel happy, alive and loved in a relationship, you need your partner to make you feel this way.

I quite agree to the fact that we all need someone to share our love and life with, but it will be wrong for us to think that we need someone to feel joy and alive. It is all you and you alone. These feelings are something you can only give to yourself.

Now based on this cultural misconception of how to feel loved, what remained hidden to us is that for you to feel loved, you have to give love. When I say giving love, I don’t mean you having a good feeling only when you make someone happy.

What I am trying to say is the genuine love that you feel in your quest to bring joy and laughter to your partner. Offering the support that you partner needs for him or her to feel loved. When you change your perception that love is something you give, you will begin to see something different happening in your life.
#2. Learn to be grateful

It can be very unhealthy in relationship when all you do is focus on what you don’t like about your partner or the things you are missing in your relationship. The best way to go about it is to show gratitude for what you have and the positive sides of your partner. With this, can you can be able to infuse the love that is required to keep the relationship going.
#3. Learn to love again

Heartbreaks are something that can devastating to a person and result in fear of opening your heart again to someone else. These emotional pains could have been caused by parents, siblings or exes. Sometimes it can even be caused by you current partner.

If you want to sustain real love in your relationship, then you will have to learn to open your heart again. Anyone that has experienced heartbreaks will understand that it takes and enormous amount of courage to open your heart again to someone else. But despite this, it is the only way to get to feel love for your partner again.

There are ways that you use in escaping opening your heart to another person. All you have to do is identify those ways and work on them so as to start experiencing love once again.

Sustaining the love you share with you partner is not a fast one or a short term business, you have to realize that it is work in progress. This is why you have to know these laws of love and put them into actions by opening your heart. Doing this you can be able to sustain your love for your partner and have a happy and satisfying relationship.

Looking at this, you will agree with me that the end game is all about our desires to feel loved and be loved.

It can be quite revealing when we discover that we don’t need someone to feel joy and be loved and this desires can be met with simple steps and actions that we take.

READ  I find it hard being intimate with someone else like I was with my ex

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About Ejike John,

Ejike John is a student of human characters and behaviors, a blogger, programmer, web developer and a lover of music. All he wants to do is write and get his name out there.