10 Concrete exercises to develop self-confidence
Have you noticed that the pleasure of learning is linked to self-confidence? Here are 10 techniques to boost that self-confidence – that work for kids as well as adults!
Have you noticed that you rather like subjects or subjects in which you feel competent? Or at least the ones in which you progress, you improve, you understand… In fact, these are all the subjects on which you have confidence in yourself. Because, without self-confidence, there is in fact no pleasure in learning….
So how do you develop that self-confidence? Here are some tips that apply to both children and parents
1/ The pride notebook
The idea of this notebook is to write down all your successes every evening. The big ones AND the little ones. Yes, even the smallest ones, even those that seem banal to you. As soon as you feel a touch of pride, it’s good: you have to note it. You were surprised, you exceeded yourself, you didn’t complain because the bus was late? Write it down. Did you make this cake better than usual? Write it down. Did you offer to help when you didn’t have enough time for yourself? Write it down. Write down everything you are proud of. Also write down how you feel.
You can re-read this notebook regularly to remind yourself how awesome you are . Yes, yes, great. I weigh my words. You can also read the post “ le bocal à kifs ” that I wrote a few months ago which talks about this ritual to set up as a family.
2/ The photo album of successes
Better yet: complete this notebook with photos or drawings. You will be able to relive these successes and the emotions you feel even better.
3/ Celebrate your victories
We often forget to savor and visualize the path traveled. And yet, it’s really powerful.
Start by creating a “ celebratory gesture ” that suits you. You know, that gesture football players make when they have scored a goal, or the one sportsmen make when they have won a race…
Imagine your gesture associated with victory: a dance? raise your arms in the air? Not necessarily need to be very original, but make it your own. Repeat it several times to get to know it well.
Then, each time you achieve success, celebrate it by performing your victory gesture. This will anchor this victory even more deeply in you. Also reread this post that I wrote a few weeks ago, entitled “ these-gestures-that-change-our-mental ”.
Celebrating your victories builds your confidence and emphasizes your strengths. You can also celebrate them with words of encouragement, rewards (a book, a treat), moments of relaxation or a fun activity. Let your imagination run wild.
The more you celebrate your victories , the more confidence you will gain .
4/ The notebook of your qualities
You are unique, brilliant, be sure of it. But it’s even better if you write it down. So take 30 minutes to write in this notebook 10 qualities (at least) that you find yourself. Not the flaws. Just the qualities. Yes it is difficult. We learned in our education not to put ourselves forward. But, discovering all our qualities, it feels good. If you’re having trouble identifying them, think about the compliments people give you or you would give yourself if you were your best friend. Next to each quality, write in which situation you demonstrated it. Date, sign.
Invite your children to do this exercise. Again, I tell myself that the more you discover these tools when you are young, the more weapons you have to be happy in life. To offer urgently to children
Then ask your relatives (for children: ask your parents, your brothers and sisters) what your qualities are and on what occasion you have proven them. Carefully note their response. Or, better, ask them to write it themselves in your notebook. And to date and sign.
Come back every year to re-read this notebook. Enrich it with new qualities. New testimonials from friends, for example.
Writing down your qualities and re-reading them regularly helps build powerful self-confidence.
6/ Spend time with positive people
Your environment is very important for self-confidence. The more you will hear positive phrases that “boost” you, the more you will fill yourself with this confidence. This is also the role of parents vis-à-vis their children: to replenish their self-confidence.
5/ Read inspiring and motivating texts, listen to inspiring podcasts
In the absence of being able to regularly find and discuss with inspiring people, read inspiring books, listen to podcasts of inspiring people. Read motivational quotes. You will receive a boost of motivation and confidence to move forward.
I made you a selection of inspirational quotes , in the form of cards. You can print them and cut them out, pick one with your children to discuss.
6/ Cultivate your strengths
To increase his self-confidence, work on the subjects on which you feel comfortable, good, qualified , and in which you have fun. By associating this feeling of mastery with a positive emotion (pride, cheerfulness, lightness of spirit), you will durably reinforce your confidence . The more success you have had in these areas, the more your capital of confidence will irrigate the other areas of our know-how.
7/ Take the compass personality test
The free personality test helps determine your golden talent. I loved taking these tests. Not only because it is interesting to know your own talent, but above all because the review is written in such a positive way that you will receive a whiff of well-being when reading it. Keep it safe and read it regularly. Please note: I did the test with my children. The result does not correspond to them. This test had to be carried out especially for adults.
8/ The kasàlà: self-praise
That’s a really difficult technique. But really interesting in terms of self-confidence.
Jean Kabuta, a former literature professor from the Congo, is the champion of kasàlà, a “poem-story of celebration or self-celebration declaimed in public”.
The idea of Kasàlà is to write a benevolent portrait of yourself that you will read to one or more people you trust. Take a sheet of paper, a pen and start by writing your first name then the formula that suits you: “I am…”, “My name is…”, “Here I am…”, “Me,…” Then list all the qualities that you recognize in yourself. Use metaphors linked to nature, poetize your portrait as much as possible: “mysterious like a cat”, “flexible like a reed”… Finally, choose one or more people you trust to whom you will recite your self-praise by looking at them straight in the the eyes.
This technique is the famous “Coué” method of Emile Coué, who was the first to discover the power of suggestions to influence our subconscious. His famous phrase: “Every day, from all points of view, I have more and more confidence in myself”.
The principle of this exercise is very simple: repeat quotes or positive affirmations several times a day until the subconscious is programmed to have more self-confidence. It is necessary to do much more than read them or recite them “stupidly”.
- Read them aloud.
- Repeat them often.
- Copy them by hand.
- Visualize them (mental images).
- Feel emotions.
10/ Take action
The only way to gain self-confidence is to act. In fact, what stops most people is the lack of action . The less we act, the more we are afraid and the more we lose self-confidence. Take a first step towards your goal, a concrete action, then you will be proud of yourself. This pride will turn into confidence. Your actions will yield results and successes that will strengthen your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Start with a simple task. The next time you doubt yourself or are paralyzed by fear, think about it, instead of remaining inactive: force yourself to take the first step. To force yourself to act, one trick is to set yourself a little challenge.